The Funeral of Hearts

She was the sun shining upon the tomb
Of your hopes and dreams so frail
He was the moon painting you
With its glow so vulnerable and pale

"So we go now," Jess said, looking at his brother who nodded approvingly. The three men, Jess, Ville and Novak, had been helping Bam relax and dress up for the wedding for all morning, but it was getting closer and closer to the point when Bam was supposed to be waiting for his girl at the altar.

"Hey Ville, you coming?" Novak asked, wondering why the man had barely said a word while the rest of them had laughed and joked around, being all lighthearted and humorous about the millionaire getting married. Ville went to follow them but Bam stopped him before he could leave the room.

"Could you help me with this tie?" he asked Ville with a thick voice, pained expression that no one else seemed to notice flashing on his face.

"Of course," Ville muttered, coming to a halt. He waited until Jess and Novak had left, shutting the door behind them, and finally turned to face Bam, looking anywhere but in his eyes.

He stepped closer, focusing his gaze on the tie. He took his time making sure the knot was perfect, unconsciously lingering close to the man longer than necessary. He could see the Adam's apple move up and back down as the man in front of him swallowed. He found himself copying the gesture, but finding it hard due to the lump in his throat.

He straightened the tie, the back of his slightly shaking hand lingering on the smooth fabric that was covering Bam's chest, trying not to think of how handsome Bam looked in the suit.

She was the wind carrying in all the troubles
And fears you've for years tried to forget
He was the fire restless and wild
And you were like a moth to that flame

He only realized that the other man was leaning towards him when their faces were just about inches apart. He felt the hot breath caress his face, sending shivers up his spine. He wet his dry lips, quickly glancing at the dark sapphire eyes so close to his own emerald ones before pulling back and letting go of the tie he had been clutching in his fist. He wanted so badly to give in, to let Bam kiss him, but he absolutely couldn't. It would only hurt more, to be reminded of what he couldn't have.

"Ville, please. I need you," the man pleaded almost desperately, reaching for him.

"No Bammie. You..." he stopped to fill his lungs with air, suddenly finding the simple task difficult. It hurt like hell but there was nothing he could do to ease the pain. It was gradually getting harder to breathe. "You're getting married!" he spit the words out of his mouth, turning his back to Bam. Not too long after did he feel the strong arms around his shoulders, trapping him in place. He wanted to cry.

Love's the funeral of hearts
And an ode for cruelty
When angels cry blood
On flowers of evil in bloom

"Breathe," Bam whispered into his ear, squeezing him just a little tighter in his arms, and nuzzled him where the neck meets the shoulder. He knew Bam could feel the quickened pounding of the heart in his chest through the clothes separating them as he tried to do just so. "I don't want you to have an asthma attack," the man added against his sensitive skin.

He closed his eyes, the feeling of the strong arms wrapped around his torso nearly killing him, breath coming out in quick pants no matter how he tried to slow it down, knowing full well that this was the last time he and Bam would ever touch each other like this. Bam would be a married man from now on, and he would have to accept it. The feeling, however, would be buried deep in his heart, it would be there with all the millions of other similar memories, haunting him at the lonely hours of the night when he lay in his bed alone, missing the other man like no other.