Chapter 3

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  The next day, after having that bomb dropped on me; I find myself sitting in Tess and Brendan's kitchen. I was running on autopilot throughout the school day and even now. I can feel the heat of Tess' stare. She's waiting for me to fess up to what's got me in this trance like state.

  "Start talking Eliana." Tess demands with both brows raised. "You're off in la la land right now."

  I clear my throat and sit up straight. "Where's Brendan?" I ask trying to buy more time.

  "At the gym; should be home soon. Now, spill." Tess presses without missing a beat. Why does she have to be so good at reading me.

  "I need you to swear you won't mention anything that I say to your husband." Her eyes turn to slits as she contemplates my condition. Then she gives a nod of her head. "Use your words Tess. I really need to hear them."

  "OK.. OK jeez. What's got you all tense?" She gives me her full attention.

  "Tommy's back." I say calmly while freaking out on the inside. It feels strange to say out loud. Tess' eyes widen tremendously.

  "D-did you see 'em?" She asks still in shock.

  "No, I haven't." I answer. Her brows furrow.

  "So how do you know he's back?" She asks sounding slightly confused. I relay last nights events and fill her in on everything I know because I eavesdropped.

  "Wow, so the prodigal son has returned." Tess says as she leans back in her chair. Taking in the news of the ghost of all our past.

  "I don't really know how to bring it up to Brendan, or if I even should." I sigh heavily. "You're his wife. Do I tell him that his younger brother is back and didnt even want to say hey to his big brother." Tess just stares at me as if she's figuring something out. "What? Why are looking at me like that?"

  With a raised brow she counters, "Do you really want to know?" I wave my hand, urging her to continue. "Okay, so I do think that you're genuinely worried for my husband's sake, but you're really the one freaking out big time about this. You and Tommy definitely shared something special. Especially at that age. He was your first love, and let's be really honest here, your only love. Tommy left and took a piece of you with him. You haven't even seen him yet and its got you like this, but I get it Eli, I do." It really is freaky how she could read me like this. I guess thats what years of friendship does to you. I just wish she wasn't so spot on about it.

  "Where's he staying?" Tess digs for more information.

  "I dont know." I shake my head. "I heard Paddy say that he isn't staying with him, so your guess is as good as mine."

  Tess is still observing me as if I'm some kind of new species. "Tell me how you really feel about this Eliana. Or even how you've been feeling all this time."

  I can't even look my best friend in the eye. I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know, to tell you the truth. God, its like I want to see him and just ask him why. Why didnt you say you were leaving? Or say goodbye? Then, there's this other side that doesn't. And I guess thats more out of fear that I won't like what he says. Maybe he just didnt feel as strongly for me as I thought."

   "Oh, c'mon! You don't really believe that, do you? You two were inseparable-" Just then we hear a car pull into the driveway. "That's Brendan. But we are far from over with this convo, missy." She stands and heads to the front door along with 2 sets of stampeding feet. Her daughters so excited for daddy to be home.

  Shit! How am I going to tell Brendan about his brother? As I get closer to the front door, I can see Brendan talking to someone on the front yard.

  "Who the hell is that?" I whisper as I come up behind Tess.

  "It's Paddy." She whispers back. What the hell is Paddy doing here?

  Brendan starts walking towards the house when Paddy calls out that Tommy is back. Almost as if he were answering my silent question. Brendan spins back around. "Tommy's in the 'Burgh." Paddy continues now that he has Brendan's attention again.

  "Tommy's back?" I can hear Brendan's disbelief faintly in the distance. The old man really doesn't know what kind of old wounds he is opening up again. I know he wants some kind of relationship with his kids but blurting it out like this, is surely not the way. Brendan and Paddy continue to exchange words on the front yard. I tune them out and walk further into the house, and into the living room. There I wait until I hear the front door close and the girls excitedly greeting their daddy.

  "Okay, girls! Daddy's home now, so you know what that means." The girls whine at Tess' words. "Yes, bath and then bed. Let's go, let's go!" She rushes them up the stairs. "Eli's in the living room." I hear her tell Brendan.

  His footsteps get closer, then he appears in the entry way. I can tell that he's trying to get a read on me; and I know I can't hide the truth from him. "You knew he was back?" The tone of it was more of a statement than a question but I answered anyway.

  "Yes." I stare off in the distance not wanting to look at the pain I knew would be reflected in my own eyes.

  "D'you see 'em?" He asks hesitantly.

  I scoff. "Do you think I would look as put together as I do now, if I did?" Brendan just nods and then takes a seat next to me on the sofa. Staring off into the distance just as I am. Without a doubt thinking about the 14 years he spent without his brother.

  With a heavy sigh I rise from the sofa. "I'm going to head home. Two days of this is more than enough that I can take. I'll see you after I'm done processing. Night, Brendan." He grumbles his reply still lost in his own train of thought. I make my exit.

  I'm so in my head on the drive home. Scabs from the past being ripped open will definitely have you going over many different scenarios. Searching through my purse for my house keys it takes me a minute to realize that there are a pair of feet in front of me. Causing my heart to speed up. As I look up to see the face that the feet belong to, my lungs are robbed of any air I had left. My heart is now pounding in my chest. The rapid beating is all that I can hear.

  In a whisper, I say his name. "Tommy."

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