Chapter 4

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  I'm frozen in place. I can't move, I lost the ability to form words. I've always pictured this moment, of how I would tell him off for leaving the way he did, but here I am rendered speechless as I stare at the boy who ran off with my heart (well man now). And my god what a specimen of a man he turned out to be. He must have kept up with his training after he left. No! Stop with this kind of thinking. Totally not the time to be worshipping his physique.

  "How've you been?" What!? That's all I get? I started to laugh and it makes me feel like a complete lunatic because in actuality I am beyond pissed at this very moment. Tommy fucking Conlon wants to know how I've been after 14 years of his absence. Well, okay...

  "Hmm, how have I been? For starters.. I am in disbelief that I am in fact staring at the greatest magician I know, Mr. Tommy Conlon, after having performed the greatest disappearing act of a lifetime." I reply with a massive amount of sarcasm. "The boy who stole my heart and then pulverized it without my feelings being a thought in his mind. Oh! Who then happens to magically reappear on my front steps, just to ask How've  I been? How do you fucking think I've been?"

  "You're angry, huh?" Tommy replies without any emotion. A dead stare in his eyes like he doesn't even care at all about me, now or even before. And it absolutely fucking stings down into my hearts core. He continues to just stand there staring at me, chewing on a toothpick.

  I stare back at him for a few seconds until I gather up enough of the hurt that I'm feeling to say what I need to say. "Fuck you, Tommy." I whisper into the night. I then walk around him and up my porch steps to get inside my house as quick as possible. He doesn't even attempt to stop me or apologize. He just let's me walk away. My heart crumbles, well what's left of it anyways. After slamming my door behind me, I start to get jittery and slowly slide down my door and begin to cry.

  I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that. His eyes were empty, devoid of any emotion. The way he spoke to me as if we never had a bond. As if I were just someone he had ran into on the street. Which confused the hell out of me since he had been waiting at the front of my house.

  Needless to say this wasn't the boy that I once knew. This wasn't the person who I fell deeply in love with all those years ago. He wasn't my Tommy anymore. I guess that's what 14 years of separation does to people.

  After a few moments, I pulled myself together enough to get ready for bed. I tossed, I turned and I cried myself to sleep thinking of I completely lost Tommy Conlon.

  I woke to the sound of my phone signaling a text. Groggy from crying myself to sleep I reach for my phone to check the message.

     
Tess: Hey girl, hey! Wanna come ova?

Tess: Brendan's at the gym training with Frank. I need some company and I KNOW you do too.

  I reply back telling her that I'll be there as soon as I'm done getting ready. After last night I shouldn't be alone with these thoughts from last night. Running on autopilot I dress and head to Tess and Brendan's.

  "Ohmigawd did you guys screw!?" Tess waggles her eyebrows suggestively. I screw my face up at her.

  "Did you not just hear anything I said, Tess." I deadpanned. "He's different- which is understandable because he's an adult now- but his eyes were just... Dead."

  "Well, what do you expect after all the shit Paddy put them through. Then his mom dying. Those things can really change a guy." She reasoned. "Did he mention anything about wanting to see Brendan?" She tried to ask nonchalantly but I could sense the curiosity.

  Sighing heavily I said no. "I can say this though, his physic is superb. Asshole." I muttered. That sent Tess into hysterics. "Yea, laugh it up beyotch. Dont worry at all about my wounded heart or ego."

  "If he tries to talk to you again... I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt." She offered after she finished laughing her ass off at my expense. I went to argue but she cut me off. "I am not at all saying forgive or even forget. I'm just saying listen to whatever it is that comes out of his mouth- for a better understanding of the person he is now. Come on, you waited long enough for a reunion like this. Let him give you some clarity and then feel free to call him an asshole, should the opportunity present itself." Tess smirked.

  "Can I just say "we'll see" and change the subject?" She gave a single nod, offered me wine, and took my mind completely off Tommy for the time being. Brendan showed up some time later and joined in on our boozefest.

  "So, how's the side hustle going?" I asked Brendan.

  "Kickin' amateur ass just like the old days." He kicked back with a beer not looking the least bit under confident. "Frank's been throwing me into rotation with his top fighter. Whippin' my ass into shape."

  "Thinkin' about going pro again?" Tess scoffed at my question, while Brendan chuckled.

  "Don't think your friend here would like that very much. You know Tess never had the stomach for it the way that you did."

  "Well when you're infatuated with someone who lives and breathes the sport, I'm sure the lines can get blurred." Tess chimed in.

  "Ooouu, ouch that was a low blow best friend." I said feigning pain- all the while, actually feeling real pain with that statement. "I think if Brendan is doing good and coming home with the big bucks it won't be so bad." Brendan agreed with a raise and tip of his beer while Tess stormed out claiming to have to check on the girls.

  "The way you two like to hit below the belt and manage to still be friends baffles the hell out of me." Brendan laughed. "So...." Brendan heaved a sigh. "Have you been seeing the great Tommy Conlon around the neighborhood?" Jesus I could escape the guy but never his name.

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