The Totally Normal Adventures Of The New Kid

Chapter 4 Coon and Friends

I slid down my roof and did a sick jump off of it. I landed on the soft grass. Coon motioned for me to follow, but i had to get Mittens first. I hopped the fence and went to the boxes. Mitten's face was covered in blood from a bird she was eating. I scrunched up my face but i put her in my costumes hidden hood anyways.

I ran back to Coon, and we set off. I looked around at all the drunken people of South Park as we sat on the edge of a building. Coon turned to me. "
So new kid, do you have your character sheet?" he asked. I nodded and brought it out. He looked it over.
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Name:  Auriel

Gender: Male

Sexuality:???

Religion: Atheist

Powers: Enhanced Speed,Strength and Jumping ability. Commanding befriended felines.  A Shockwave roar.

Weakness: Sharp Glass and Cold or Deep water.

Backstory: After being kidnapped by scientists, my DNA was mixed with that of a lion, giving me my abilities. Using these new powers, i escaped, and assumed the persona of a new kid in town, to remain undiscovered.

_______________________________________

Coon handed it back to me. "Wow, tragic yet cool backstory, new kid. But there's no time to discuss it now. As guardians of the night we must patrol! Meet me back here at sunrise.".

After a few hours the sun was nearly up, but i encountered a problem. "StUpId BiTcH. Fuckinnnn... Take thIs!" A man was keying a car, his own it seemed. He went to get into the car. This man was clearly drunk, i could not let him drive!

After the battle, the sun peeked over the horizon. The man had passed out, keys in hand. I exhaustedly grabbed them and knocked on his door. After a few moments a woman came downstairs and answered. She looked angry until she saw the state i, i assume her husband, and their car was in. "Oh dear, not again! Are you alright?" she asked glancing at my tired form. I nodded, lying. My stomach was burning with pain, and my ribs felt bruised, yet i gave her a hand taking the man, who i learned was named Randy, inside. She thanked me, and i left.

By the time i was at the meeting place, Coon was already there. "Late after your first patrol. Tsk tsk new kid. What the hell took you- oh shit what happened to you?" he asked, eyeing my almost bleeding stomach. I made a tired gesture towards the house i had just came from. Coon frowned.

"Was Tooshed fucking with you? That fucking traitor! Fucking left with the fucking Freedom Pals!" he shouted, not noticing my wince. I shook my head. His eyes unnarowed. "Oh so his dad then. Did you fight him? God that must have sucked balls. Anyways, let us go, to The Coon Lair! Il introduce you to the rest of the Coon and Friends."

I stook shaking steps down into the Coon and Friends HQ. God, my legs needed to stop shaking. I pulled myself together and ignored the pain in my stomach. One more hit there, and some serious damage may be done. I shook my head and followed Coon down. In the middle of the room was a long table, and at that table sat some kids.

"Cartman, who the fuck is that?" a kid with a kite on his back asked, glaring at me. 'That must be the older Kyle.' i thought. Coon, who must be Cartman, rolled his eyes. "Its The Coon, Human Kite, and this is the new kid." he gestured to me. Kyle's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, sorry dude. Its nice to meet you in person. I wanted to thank you for helping my cousin and getting him to stop copying me." he said. Kyle extended his hand, and i shook it, happy to make a new friend.

"Alright new kid let me introduce you to the Coon and Friends. Alright guys stand up when i say your name. This is Human Kite, Super Craig, Mosquito, Captain Diabetes and Fast Pass.". As Coon introduced them, they obeyed and stood up. I looked them over. Most if them had creative costumes, save for Super Craig.

When i made eye contact with Super Craig, he looked like he was silently judging me. "He looks like a douche bag." he said bluntly. 'Well fuck you too then.' i thought venomously. Human Kite glared at him, but Coon looked like he was thinking. "Douchebag... Yes, that's what we'll call you instead of new kid!" he proclaimed. Human Kite slapped a hand too his face and Super Craig raised his eyebrows before sending me what i assume to be a apologetic look. 'Thanks asshole.'

I sat down at the table next to Human Kite, trying to suppress a wince. My stomach was still hurting, and the pain didn't seem like it was going away anytime soon. I just had to grit and bare it. I turned my attention to Coon, who was placing the poster on the table. Right, the cat. Mittens poked her head out slightly, trying to see.

"Alright everyone, as you know, Scrambles is still missing. I need everyone to split up into teams. Except for Fast Pass, because he's to fast for anyone to keep up with. Super Craig you're with me, Mosquito you're with Human Kite, and Douchebag you're with Captain Diabetes. Lets go!" Coon shouted.

Me and Captain Diabetes took the down town area, searching the local pound. Unfortunately, Scrambles was not there. I was worried that we may not find Scrambles, or if we did, we might not find him alive. I did,however, purchase a bag of cat food.

Coon called in and told us to visit a place called Raisins, where we would meet up with Mosquito, to see of he had any info. I didn't know where this place was, but it couldn't be that hard to find right? Right?