59 | Goodbye

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ERIC'S POV

ONE DAY LATER

ERIC'S POV—ONE DAY LATER

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MY son was gone. He really was gone. And for some reason—which I may have been right about—it felt like it was because of me.

From the beginning, I wanted nothing to do with Penelope's pregnancy. My initial reaction—or decision—was to terminate her pregnancy. I wanted make a decision that, in the long run, wouldn't affect me physically, emotionally, or even mentally, like it would Penelope.

I knew the science behind a pregnancy—the formation of a fetus, from start to end—but it meant more to Penelope. She was a smart girl, which I never credited her enough for. Penelope understood all the medical terms behind her pregnancy, but it was more than that to her.

She'd fallen in love with the unforeseen life growing inside of her.

I always thought she would've agreed in terminating the pregnancy, as I had suggested. We had clearly agreed on no children, but I always felt she'd begrudgingly agreed with me in the beginning. She must have always wanted kids, but decided against it when I was brought into her life—to marry her.

Penelope never wanted kids with someone that debauched her in so many ways from the start.

But a child is what we got. Even if it was for a few short weeks. I only wished it hadn't taken me what felt like an eternity to welcome the precious life—our son—Penelope carried. I should've seen the silver lining brought by something we hadn't planned.

James was the silver lining in our temperamental marriage.

Now, that was gone. We wouldn't welcome our son in a few short months. I wouldn't comprehend what having your own kid felt like. I wouldn't see what my own mother meant when she said how once my son was born, everything would change.

However, what I did understand, was my mothers empathy for what Penelope was going through. I came to find out exactly what my own mother's loss put her through. All because of the man who played a major role in the twisted ways he molded me, making me who I was now.

How I wished things were different. I wished for a childhood where my own father hadn't abused his family. And the reason I wished for that was because it meant Penelope wouldn't have been put through the malice I put her through.

I'd fallen in love with her, and I still loved her. But I failed to rightfully prove my love to her.

"Penny?"

Her head turned, looking over her shoulder and meeting my eyes. I brought my hand near her upper back, right in between her shoulder blades. She tensed for a quick second, and I immediately dropped my hand.

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