My Honest Book Reviews [CLOSED]

The Alley

Cover: 5/10

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: PG-13 

Chapters Read: 3

Summary:

Private Detective Hound Barker is an amnesiac sorcerer and inventor who lives with his daughter, Tina Barker. Both of them recover from personal tragedy when Captain Singh hires him to solve a serial murder popularly known in Autumn Hills as the Widow-Maker Case. One thing Barker and Singh learned from their experience is in the world of magic and shapeshifters, nothing is a random occurrence as the simple serial murders take a turn for the worse.

Grammar:

Right off the bat, the grammar is off. Even the summary and the first paragraph of the introduction are missing commas and the rest of the chapter is riddled with misspelled words, the peculiar wording in certain parts, and lack of proper punctuation. For the most part, the dialogue is written decently as far as structure goes, though I strongly advise against using caps in dialogue, which is frequently used in the book. 

Also, I also recommend switching from present tense to past tense, since the present tense can be off-putting at times, though this is ultimately the author's choice. 

The vocabulary is above-average, though it can be inconsistent at certain points, chapter to chapter. Additionally, there's a severe lack of descriptions, which can leave a reader puzzled and wondering things like the location and time; I strongly suggest being detailed and using more imagery.

6/10

Plot:

The plot reminds me of The Wolf Among Us and the Fable comics, which is a step in the right direction as far as the plot goes. I absolutely adore TWAU, so I automatically took a liking to many of the ideas in this book, and rightly so. 

By itself, the plot is terrific. Very original, I think.

Now, I love the concept of a neo-noir crime thriller with fantasy/supernatural influences, and the concept is executed quite decently in this book. There's certainly no shortage of dialogue in the book, but it actually drives the story forward (very rarely does this happen in a Wattpad book), though the absence of descriptions hinders this effort.

8/10

Characters:

I've noticed a recurring problem in many Wattpad books I've read, and this book suffers from it too: lack of individualized dialogue. Yes, seriously.

What I'm trying to say is that authors on this site tend to struggle with giving characters distinct voices through dialogue; for example, some characters in a book might be educated and raised in upstanding families, therefore they have a refined way of speaking, and the opposite applies to perhaps a character from a working-class family in the ghetto.

Every character in this book speaks in the same manner which doesn't help in developing the characters. Mostly, my reading experience was worsened by this, and the same will probably go for other readers.

The dialogue also doesn't flow well; it feels forced for a number of reasons, one being that there seems to be a lack of personality in the dialogue.  The conversations just aren't natural at times. To avoid this, I suggest adding more filler words like "um", "well", and "you know" to make the dialogue sound more real.

For the aforementioned reasons, I have to say that, as a reader, no character really appealed to me. And unfortunately, that's just another thing that this book has a problem with. A bit of Barker's personality shines through in his conversations, but it's quickly stifled by the bland characters he interacts with.

5/10

Overall Rating:

⭐⭐⭐/5

Note to @MidnightManiac

Your book is on the right track; you have a stunning plot, but the execution is mediocre and there's a plethora of undeveloped characters. Of course it takes time to perfect one's craft, but if you heed my advice every time you write, you'll only get better from there.

Next Story:

The Shrieking Shack