Homestuck/Hiveswap X Reader Oneshots

That Damn Sweater ♠

You looked around to make a quick check that you weren't being followed by anyone, especially by that trigger happy troll that you just silently stole all of his sweaters. Boy were you going to enjoy telling your escapade of midnight douchebagery to your friend/roomie, Karmel. Sure she'd scold you, but who gives a dann right now. You just stole all of Kankri Vantas' sweaters just to get him to show off a little bit more of his fine ass.... Wait did... did you, (y/n) (l/n), the prankster from a hell that John Egbert won't even go, think that that over talkative, trigger happy dunce of a troll had a nice ass.

Yes you did. Damnit all, Karmel shoo.

But why? Invading my privacy for one.

I don't see how you are any better. Geez thanks for ousting me.

Incoming by the way. Wait what?

You were then pinned to a tree by a very pissed off Kankri. You opened your mouth to say something, but he growled effectively cutting you off.

"I can't even try t9 6elieve y9ur acti9ns. They were s9 damn childish that Mituna can d9 6etter. What were y9u trying t9 acc9mplish here (y/n)?" He breathed with a slight sneer in his voice, which might you add was barely above a whisper. Now would be the time for you to practice a filter.

"Well you see, Kanny, I was trying to get you to show of more of that fine dariair you happen to possess." Fuck you sideways with a sword what happened to your filter?

"I'm n9t interested in any f9rm 9f a relati9nship with y9u." He backed away rubbing his arms.

"Wait what?" Your head tilted a little more than necessary.

"D9 y9u n9t kn9w a69ut quadrants?" He sounded exasperated.

"Karmel refused to tell me anything." You shook your head.

"This will 6e the 9nly time I say this s9 listen very carefully. Y9u are making it near imp9ssible for me n9t t9 take y9u as my kismesis and send my cele6acy int9 ruins. N9w, where are my sweaters?" He returned to towering over you in a dominating way.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." You lied, blushing from his proximity.

"Really n9w. Then what are th9se in y9ur arms?" Shit shit shit. He's on to you.

"Oh these are clothes for the homeless." You said. With a growl he picked you up and carried you and the mound of red in your arms back to his hive where he proceeded to "lecture" you on. You can now say that he is, in fact, the dominant type.

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Requested by no body. Now since you have a sample of the product, how about a request or too you god tiering dipsticks. Shoot that wasn't supposed to come out like that.....potato..... Until next time you trash heaps.
~Rave.