The Silver Blade

Home?

I watched slowly as little droplets of water fell from his eyes, sliding across his skin, causing his face to shimmer. I was back, I was here, and that made him happy. I hadn't realized for the first few moments, that my vision had begun to blur. That I could no longer see him clearly in front of me, no longer see his face, which reminded me of everything I had left behind. I was back, I was here, and I guess that made me happy as well. The time I had spent on my own had never felt so distant as it did in that moment. That years of my life gone in a blink of an eye. That maybe I could leave all the loneliness behind, have a family, a best friend once more.

I let the tears fall freely, not caring to wipe them away. Silently fearing that if I moved to brush away the tears, my eyes would open to a cold unforgiving landscape that I had called my home for such a long time. His hand still gripped my arm, his other one behind my shoulder where he had pulled down my hood. I could tell by the way he lightly held on to me that he was still grasping the fact that I was here.

In the small moments between tears, I could see the small glimmers of reflected light rolling down his cheeks, letting me know he was crying as well. The tear tracts did little to effect the huge grin plastered on his face, only slightly broken due to wariness. He began to fidget slightly, as if he was fighting the urge to hug someone, which he probably was. I mean, I was standing right in front of him for the first time in years.

I looked down from his eyes, resting out out focus on his faded shirt. That small gesture meant very different things to both of us. But I knew what it meant to him in that moment. To him, he just sees his best friend after years of nothing, and that same friend seems to just curl up into themselves, trying to avoid contact with others. But to me, it meant submission. It was meant as a silent promise to stay. To let him have what he wanted for as long as he is safe. But in that moment it didn't matter what it meant to either of us, we both knew what the outcome would be.

Seeing the small act of avoiding eye contact, he gently lifted his hand from my shoulder, slowly drawing it closer to my face. The brush of his fingers against my skin sent a small tingle down my back. He gently held my chin, forcing my gaze back to his eyes.

His eyes reflected something very different then what they did before. They seemed...almost welcoming in a way. The deep brown, almost black nature of his eyes seemed to wrap me in a hug instead of come off as a cold steely gaze. The sparkle in his eye due to the reflection of the Street lamp behind me made it look like a swarming galaxy in his eyes. I couldn't understand how so much emotion could be layered into so little. His eyes told so much about him in that moment. I could see an unbridled joy and delight at seeing me. An uneasy apprehensiveness as to who I've become. A slight curiosity, which in turn made me skeptical. He was probably wondering why I left, or where I've been. But the overwhelming emotion was one I couldn't place. It seemed to make his whole face practically glow. He seemed to be questioning something, but I couldn't say for sure.

He seemed to be wrestling with something in his head as they were crying, staring into each other's eyes, taking it all in. In the next moment he seemed to make up his mind. He pulled forward, letting go of my chin and wrapping both arms around my body in a tight hug.

I felt myself stiffen in response slightly at the sudden movement, but instantly relaxed as my brain realized I wasn't in any danger. I had finally regained somewhat control of my body, moving my arms to wrap them around him, squeezing tightly as if it would all disapear if I let go. And I get the feeling he felt the same way in that moment.

He was a lot taller than me, which became evident as he rested his chin on my head. I continued to cry as I clutched his jacket in my fists. I didn't want this moment to end. I had been so lonely for so long I nearly forgot how warm and comforting a hug could be.

After a few moments he started to pull away, lifting his head off mine and leaning back so he could see my face, and I could see his.

"I can't believe you're back! I- we all been so worried about you!" He stated kind of excitedly. He didn't yell, it was more of an exited whisper because we were so close he didn't need to yell to be heard. He seemed to have a sudden thought before saying "We need to tell your family! You parents and Monica! You're home isn't that far away-" He stopped talking when he realized I had avoided his gaze once more, my hands shaking in my grip on his jacket. My gaze had become unfocused, still blurred by tears.

He had leaned down with his hands back on my shoulders to meet my downed gaze. I knew what he would see in that moment. I knew my eyes would be unfocused, glassed over as if I was looking off into the empty air between us. Softly he began to try and coax me back into reality.

"Hey, Felicity, hey, look at me." It had been so long since I had been called by that name that it jolted me back into the present. He sighed in relief once he saw that I was focused on him once again. "Hey, are you okay? You seemed  quite out of it there for a second."

I opened my mouth to speak only to find my throat unable to work in that moment and close it once more. I tried to find a word that could sum up everything I was feeling, seeing as with my mouths lack of use over the years, I could only say so much at a time. Unable to find such a word I did the next best thing, asking a question that I wanted answered.

Tentatively, and with a hoarse throat, raw with lack of use and from crying, I asked one simple question. "Home?"

I saw him try and filter through the single worded question, trying to understand it's meaning. He began to speak, trying to understand what I was trying to say. "Yeah, your home. With Monica, and your parents. They've been worried sick..." He slowly trailed off and looked at me confusedly as I tried to speak once more.

Stupid mouth. I cursed my throat silently for betraying me in this moment.

"Felicity..." It was obvious he didn't exactly know what to say. I began taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself, hoping that could make it easier to speak.

"Have....they been....looking too?" Yes! Finally, it worked! I asked something useful!

Realization dawned on him as he realized I was asking about my family. He seemed to become slightly sadder. He looked up at me and I could plainly see what he was wrestling with. He was never a good liar.

Before he could say anything, I spoke again. "The, truth." Enunciating each word.

He sighed, standing up to his full hight as he did. He face was downcast though, towards his feet and the concrete sidewalk. "They did at first. For the first few years. Monica gave up after the first year. Your parents lost hope after three." He looked dejected and slightly angry as he finished.

Suddenly he looked up with a determined expression, surprising me. "But I never gave up looking. Ever." He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself more than me that he hadn't abandoned me.

I smiled softly, looking at him as if for the first time. Which would be accurate, I told myself, because I hadn't seen him in six years.
"I- I'm not ready....to see them yet." I said to him, thankful my throat had started working again.

He looked back to me with a confused glance. "Well you're not staying in the middle of the woods."

I glanced down. "I have no where else to go."

He suddenly grabbed my hand in his and started dragging me down the street quickly. He tossed a glance over his shoulder calling out as we spend walked away "Absolutely not. If you don't want to stay with your family that's fine. But you're not staying in the middle of the woods."

I didn't know where he was taking me but I knew one thing. It didn't matter to me. So long as he was there with me.