Stronger than I look

Just in time

Hi my name is Katrina Evans and today is my 16th birthday, usually I'd be spending my special day hanging with my friends at a club partying and getting drunk like any normal teenager would do on their special day but the fact is today isn't a special day for me as today is also the day of my mother's death, and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

Instead of celebrating my birthday I am standing in front of a lake frustratingly throwing small grey rocks into the water that cover the surface I am standing on, Usually I'd be fighting at the arena I always go to but I just didn't have enough energy too so there just gonna have to deal without me today.

Today would be so much better if my now ex boyfriend didn't break up with me today, well today would still be really bad but the fact that he broke up with me made my day a whole lot worse.

You know it's funny because the exact same thing happened last year when I had a boyfriend and you'd think I'd learn the first time but nope not me, it was such a stupid reason I mean who breaks up with a girl for not having sex with him I mean I've told him a thousand times to wait because I'm just not ready to do it yet. This is why I absolutely hate guys, they just don't know how to be patience, it's not like I was never gonna do it with him he could've waited for me instead of being a jerk.

As I'm releasing all my thoughts I start to taste something salty and realise I'm crying, I don't usually let my emotions come out like this so if someone was to see me cry right now people would be very surprised considering I'm not much of the cryer, before my mother died three years ago I would never let my emotions out like this instead I would keep them locked away but today I just can't help it, it's like a demon is taking in control of my body.

I feel so weak right now and let me just say it's the worst feeling ever, I just don't know what to do anymore and to be honest if I could rewind time and save my Mum so she can be alive instead of me I would in a heart beat.

As I continue to throw the rocks angrily into the lake releasing my thoughts I finally realise it's getting dark.

"Shit" I mutter to myself as I start sprinting towards my home, my father and 'step mother' are going to kill me if they find out I'm not home. Thank god they went to that club they said they were going to.

I only live 5 minutes from here and usually I'd be taking my shit white little car that I could only just afford to buy myself but I needed to take a walk so I could clear my head out a bit cause I just can't think straight in that little car of mine, it's too cramped in there.

Just as I'm running down my street I see what looks like my house and thankfully no ones home yet, my father and his girlfriend also known as my 'step mum' must be on their way home now.

I am finally running towards the side of my house to my bedroom window which still has the ladder leaning against the wall where I left it so I could sneak out whenever I wanted too and my father and 'step mum' wouldn't find out.

As I'm climbing up the ladder towards my bedroom window my heart almost jumps out of my chest when I hear the familiar sound of my dads black Ferrari roaring down the road as it parks in our driveway.

I take my hands off my chest which is thumping rapidly and continue to climb the ladder until I'm in my own bedroom and quickly jump into my bed which is in the corner of my bedroom as I hear the front door open and slam shut, once I'm in my bed I pull my sheets over me and pretend to be asleep.

My heart almost jumps out of my chest the second time today as I hear my door open and bang into the wall as I hear someone's footsteps getting closer to me until they suddenly stop.

"Not tonight" a women says that sounds like she's in her 30s who is also my 'step mum'.

"Finee but she's getting it tomorrow" the man grumbles to the women who is also known as my father.

I hear their footsteps fading away as the door slams shut for the second time today.

"Few that was close" I mumble to myself.