"speak to me jay" i said as she went into my wardrobe to find one of my old blazers. she didn't say a word and just carried on "jay" i said getting annoyed she turned to me "sorry" she said "why are you sorry?" " i made you mad" she said "you only call me jay when your mad" i sighed knowing it was true "look i'm sorry i just need you to talk to me or i cant help you" she sat down on the bed beside me and i heard her sniffle "hey, hey, hey" i said and tilted her chin towards me making her look me in the eye as i wipe her tears "what happened?" i asked "it was Eli" i furrowed my brows in confusion "what was?" "he killed cal" she said barely above a whisper as i cradled her in my arms.
******in court******
"you were supposed to be with him" Eli shouted and i just looked at mike and back to Eli "all you had to do was sneak out and he would never have been killed" my eyes started to water "he was leaving you know" i looked up at Eli "that's why you fought with him? that's why you killed him? because he was going to move to Switzerland with James?" i shouted back "you knew?" he shouted back outraged "of course i knew we were twins we told each other everything" i said returning to my normal voice instead of shouting "i cant believe you didn't tell me" he shouted "no one told you because we knew you would do something stupid that's why she told us not too" i said pointing to Tina as i said 'she' "so it was your fault" he yelled again "how?" i said starting to raise my voice again as he said "you let him go" "you killed him you did that you didn't have to he was leaving so he could be happy. because everything here is bad all you do is get him into trouble you killed him it was your fault not mine" he glared at me "i had no choice" he shouted "THERE'S ALWAYS A CHOICE!" i retorted.
he thought about how he was going to respond by saying "you let him down" "what?" i asked. he smirked and slyly responded "he called your name." he said "he screamed for help screamed for you to come and save him but you never showed up. you let him down and he died because you weren't there" he paused for a second to see if i would say anything and when he realised i was stunned into silence he continued "you could have saved him, you could have stopped me, you let him down. you let him go..." he whispered the last sentence as my tears spilled over onto my cheeks "alright that's enough, your torturing the poor girl".
***
"Eli James you are sentenced to a lifetime in prison" the moment that was said i walked out and straight to the car to wait for mike to unlock it we both got in neither of us saying a word.
***
we got home and i walked in to see johnny on the sofa in the lobby waiting for me and as soon as he heard the door shut he stood up and looked at me "how did it go?" he asked i shook my head and he must have noticed my tears because without another word he wrapped his arms around my waist as mine went around his neck and hugged me. we stayed like this for a while until he pulled back and took my hand leading me into the kitchen as i gave him a questioning look "you need to eat" he said. i shook my head. "you have to Emmy" i sighed knowing he was right.
you let him go. i let him down, Eli said cal screamed for help that he screamed my name but i never showed up he needed me, i should have been there.
