Saints

12

"Me wah know why yuh think yuh important enough fi discuss," Mi seh, a cross mi hand dem in front of me.

"So if annuh you, then a who?"

"Lickle girl? How mi fi know?? Di whole school did a discuss you when you an Chad stan up outside a cuss."

She get quiet, and mi continue talk. "Mi nuh know weh yah worry bout doe. Annuh like a true.. "

Mi look pon har an see she start look dung pon har foot dem, an har church shoes dem neva cute suh couldn't dem she a stare pon.

"Rass. Yuh mada really work a strip club?" Mi ask, an she neva ansa me but mi coulda see inna har face seh a true.

"Deidra?" Mi seh, but di gyal still neva want fi ansa me.

"Yuh know wah. Stop hold dung yuh head an a gwaan shame. Di woman a mek money fi send yuh guh school and put food inna yuh gut."

She look pon me an nuh say nutten. She just get up an go sit dung pon di other side a di church.

Mi look pon Beenie. "Maybe that's why she still deh wid Chad. Him have money."

"Would you? If you were in her position?" Beenie ask, a look pon me wid a serious look.

"Not a baxxide. Mi independent. Nuh idiot boy an dem money cah hold me."

"Oh? But you used to like Chad." Him look a di front a di church, as dem a fix di microphone.

Mi roll mi eyes. "Mi neva want fi like him. Him used to just seh some tings weh get to me... plus him nuh ugly so dat neva mek it easy. "

"Oh? Wah him say to you?" Beenie ask, a turn lickle inna him chair an a play inna mi hair.

Mi did cream it an let it out this week, an Beenie look like him did like it.

"Uhm.. Mi nuh memba... " Mi say, a realize seh mi neva really a focus while him a do that.

The Church start sing and look to di front a di church, just as pastor start cough.

...

After church, mi about fi get up when Beenie stop me. "Mi mada a come look fi me, fi mek sure seh everything go alright wid di thing weh mi tell yuh bout." Him lower him voice as smaddy walk past.

"Oh? Mi neva see her before. "

"Yuh wah meet har?" Him ask, a run him hands through mi hair again.

"Yeah."

Him smile. "Yah go love har."

Mi smile to. "Only if she stay like you."

Him start bite him lip then him look pon me.

"Shantel.. "

"Yes Curtis?"

"Yuh need fi stop look pon mi like that before mi kiss yuh inna di church."

Mi breath hitch an mi neva realize seh mi a bite mi lip to.

"You know what I don't get? I confessed my feelings to you and you decided to just walk away from me. But to make it worst... " Chad look pon Beenie. "You started talking to Beenie to hurt me or something?"

"Why you an yuh gyal so convinced dat di worl spin roun di two a unnuh???" Mi ask, a roll mi yeye dem.  "Mi like di bwoy an it nah've nutten fi do wid yuh."

"Keep telling yourself that." Chad seh, an walk weh as a vex look seckle pon mi face.

"Shantel?" Beenie say.

"Yuh know mi cah stand di dutty bwoy?!" Mi seh, a cross mi hand dem cross mi chest.

"Mmh... Shan?.. "

"What?"

"Come here.. "

Beenie lead mi out a di church until we stan up roun a di side weh people barely come since it neva connected to di road or any entrance.

"Wah happen?" Mi ask, a feel calm now dat mi neva inna di same space as di bwoy.

"You said you like me.. " Him say, an mi heart start beat fast like Bolt pon racetrack.

Him lean over an touch mi hair, as mi tek a deep breath.

"Shantel.. " Him whisper. "I am so sorry. I don't feel the same way."

Mi nuh know why, but mi couldn't look pon him. Mi did feel bad. Imagine.. Mi have feelings fi smaddy weh not even like me. Ah neva feel so shame inna mi life. And mi know him neva want it look bad cause a Beenie an him caring, but dat neva stop di way how mi feel.

"Shantel?"

"Beenie, leave mi alone." Mi seh, mi vexation a get di bes a me.

"Mi neva mean fi hurt your feelings Shantel."

Mi nuh even answer him - mi couldn't answer him. Mi chest did feel tight and mi feel like mi mouth did tape shut. Mi not even like him dat long.. So why mi did feel suh??

Mi walk towards di back room.. Just wah fi sit dung by miself an tek a breath.

But as mi open di door, mi ketch Chad an Deidra in deh a kiss.

"Unnuh stop it. A Church property unnuh deh pon.. And God doh like whateva nastiness unnuh in yah a do."

"We're just kissing." Chad seh.

"Mi nuh business. Stop it." Mi did feel vex an mi neva inna di mood fi a watch anybody get anything weh mi want. Mi pull out a chair an sit dung.

"Yuh jus vex cause yuh want Chad." Deidra seh.

"Yuh man look like him have leprosy. Stop feel like everybody attracted to di germs weh you like. Some a we have taste."

"What did you just say about me?"

"Chad stop gwaan like yuh nuh chat patois. Say 'wah yuh just seh bout mi' an mi wi ansa yuh."

"Alright. Wah yuh just seh bout me?" Chad ask, still a try fling lickle foreign accent in deh.

"Mi tell yuh gyal seh yuh nuh cute." Mi seh, vex nuh rass.

"Deidra, give me a second. I might hit a girl for once in my life and I don't want you to witness it."

Deidra walk go outside an Chad lock di door jus as mi get up an seh, "If yuh eva put yuh han pon me-"

Mi barely get fi finish mi sentence as Chad step close to me and pull mi close to him.. Just so him can kiss me. Hard.