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SPRINGTIME in japan was as beautiful as rainbow expected. the cool air flew across her sunkissed cheeks and ripples against the lake below her, giving the other tourists around her more things to show from their cameras. the clicking and flashing made her somewhat nauseous though, she had never been immune to the headaches welcomed by repetitive noises and flashing lights, so she briskly moves down to where there were less patrons to bother her.
the sun brightened everything in her sight to her liking, fine enough, so she threw on a smile to meet the feeling she held inside her. springs like this weren't a thing she saw too often. hell, japan wasn't something she saw often at all, this was her first time visiting, and she made it her goal to enjoy it as much as as she could. the reason being that she almost wasn't this damn happy anymore. things didn't make her heart jump as often, and while she never became cold-hearted, she did become distant. from the world. from herself. she honestly doesn't know what happened.
but she tries to patch herself up. and the well-needed trip to japan was one of the many steps of her new need for self discovery. that's the only thing she could think to diagnose it as, a sort of desperate need to find out who she was without him. she knows that a man - a boy - should not make her even begin to question the things that made her herself, so for so long, she was defiant to believing that her assumption was so. she knew who she was. she was rainbow. the girl who brightens up stranger's days with mere looks. the girl who crushed the world to its feet and decided on giving it back to those who needed it most. the girl who loved.
the girl who lost.
what exactly, did she lose? for the longest time she avoided admitting that it was a piece of herself she had let go, while she did the same with him. she was herself before she met him, he had nothing to do with the change she went through. they were toxic, she'd often remind herself, and that him leaving was for the best. she just hadn't gotten over him yet. she told herself that she needed to, how necessary it was that she do so.
but then he started sending messages. messages of repentance, of loneliness, of pain. messages of sheer heartbreak for his wrongdoings. messages of love. it was a word he wouldn't even say often enough while they were together, but it was a word she knew he meant, even if he didn't. and it was the word he used the most in the recordings he sent, and she took a strong note of that while she listened in the afterhours, and tears streaked down her cheeks.
to this day she has no idea what they mean, what significance they hold to her. he was still gone, and so was she, two feathers that drifted away from each other as the wind gave them their own trail. she didn't count on ever seeing him again, unless he decided to shine in her dreams. the dreams that gave her a forever.
they almost made it, though. she had a ring that held a promise, but she should've known that promises were made to be broken. she should've opened the thought in the back of her mind to reality - her reality, the thought that carried a blade over her, threatening to strike when she wasn't expecting it. but instead of being wary and thoughtful, she trusted him. with every breath she took, with every smile she stretched, with every time she danced aimlessly in her underwear. they were almost there.
