Dear Diary,

1.

Dear Diary,

I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of everything. I feel like, even though I try so hard to hold on, no one wants me around. I'm always helping people but I don't think people understand that I need help too. When I say, "I'm fine." I'm actually dying on the inside, screaming for anyone to realize that NO, I'M NOT OKAY.

HELP ME PLEASE.

It's so hard to hold on when everything in me screams to just let go, that nothing is worth me staying here.

I always have feelings of anger, jealousy and sadness. I'm never satisfied with what I'm doing. I'm never good enough. Pretty enough. Smart enough. Rich enough. Normal enough.

I would love to help anyone who needs me.

"Oh, you're self conscious about your body? Don't be, because you're very beautiful."

"You have dad or mom issues? It's okay, everything will get better. They weren't meant for each other and it's better like this."

"People are making fun of you? Don't worry, I'm your friend and I'll always be here for you."

But what about me?

Who's going to help me when I'm only proud of myself if I haven't eaten for days?

Who's going to stop me when I'm leaning over the toilet seat throwing up everything I've eaten that day because I can't bear the thought of gaining even half a pound?

Who's going to tell me that I'm not ugly or fat when my own mother makes it her mission to remind me of the fact that I look chubbier today? That my thighs are bigger?

Who's going to help me when I'm failing my classes and my parents are too busy with my other siblings because supposedly 'I'm the mature child'?

Who's going to save me from my own suicidal thoughts?

Please help me. 

I'm tired of acting so strong all the time.

Yours,

Quinn