Defeaning silence. Two words that describes our situation right now. Not even a drop of water can be heard. His cold piercing blue eyes was staring at me. Void of emotion. I reciprocate his look. I did not back down. But deep inside, I am trembling in fear.
Nanginginig ang mga kalamnan ko sa lamig ng tingin niya. Hindi ako masanay sanay sa ganitong titig niya.
I want to look down to avoid his eyes but no, I won't give him that satisfaction. I am no longer the push over I was before. I know now how to stand for myself.
After minutes of that dreadful staring contest, he turned his back at me and continued cooking.
Not a minute later, a plate full of hot meals is placed in front of me.
"Eat." He commanded.
I scoffed and crossed my arms. Who does he think he is? I am not the same as before that would follow every demand and whim of him.
I turned my back to him and started to gather my things. "Thanks for the meal but I have to go" I said without looking at him, "Also, thank you for last night even thoug--' I yelped when I turn and faced a broad chest.
Instinctively, I stepped back, even with a shirt, one can still see how defined his body is underneath it. I look at his face and dark eyes stared back at me.
It is void with emotions, pero parang nilulunod ka nito sa lalim. His jaw is clenched and his lip is tight, his whole stance showed annoyance but his eyes remained blank and cold.
I always admired his eyes, before he was this cold-hearted guy that wouldn't hesitate to break anyone's heart, he didn't have empathy, he never showed his emotions. But his eyes, it is the only gateway to him. His eyes would show what he truly feels.
That was before, but now, all those emotions fled away. It's as blank as a clean sheet of paper or an empty canvas. Though, what also changes is his body language, he now shows his emotions through it, or what it seems like.
After staring at me, he turned away, and as cold as ice he said, "Go."
-----
"Saan ka galing?!" Bungad sakin ni Felix pagkabukas ko pa lang ng pinto.
I ignored him and went to get a water. I need it, after what happened, I need a cold glass of water to wake me up.
After saying go, he went back to the kitchen, and as if my feet had its own mind, it immediately went to the door to get out. And ran as if the devil is chasing me.
This isn't a dream anymore, I know it for sure. Because if this is, someone wake me up for I didn't want it anymore. No, enough of that stupid feelings, enough of that stupid man, that was years ago and I should forget what's in the past, including that man.
I was right, seeing that man is bad news. I shouldn't have came back, I should've stayed where I was. There, I was safe, away from everything that is connected to him. I shouldn't have gone to that stupid meeting.
"Blue~ Earth to blue"
"Not now Felix, I'm tired"
"Tired?! Buong gabi kang nawala tapos sasabihin mo saking pagod ka? Alam mo ba kung gano mo ako pinag-alala! Una, iniwan mo ako. Pangalawa, pagdating ko dito wala ka, buti na lang may nakakita sayo na pumunta ng bar. Pangatlo, hindi ka sumasagot pag tinatawagan ka. Ano na lang iisipin ko nung mabalitaan ko na may nagdala sayo ha! You made me worry all night and all you have to say is you're tired?!" Guilt consumed me when I heard his outburst.
"Felix, I-I'm sorry, can we talk later? Please, I just want to rest now, clear my mind, please. Later, we'll talk, I promise, but please, let me rest for now" I pleaded him, as much as I want to explain to him, I think my mind couldn't handle it. It's in a whirl of emotions and memories as of the moment.
I turned my back to him without another word and went to my room. I drop myself to my bed face first. Not a minute later, I felt soft fur rubbing against my leg. I reached down and took him in my arms. Felix my cat purred when I rubbed his ears. That's the last thing I remembered before darkness consumed me.
#
