Battle Scars

Chapter 2

-CAMERON'S POV-

Hannah: Hey guys I felt like you guys should meet each other. All of you pm'd me, and I just have this feeling we could help each other

Cameron: Who said I needed help?

Carmen: Yeah no offense, but what I said was private

Logan: Besides I don't trust you people

Hannah: First off, let's stop lying to ourselves. We could all use someone or multiple people to talk to. Second off, would it really be so bad to have some friends?

Carmen: I never said I didn't have friends...

Hannah: That's not what I'm saying. I know all of you could have friends, but why not have three more?

Cameron: I can see the appeal

Carmen: I don't know if I'm comfortable with this

Logan: What if we all hate each other?

Hannah: Only one way to find out. Besides we all have one thing in common. We love to read.

Cameron: That's true

Carmen: That doesn't mean we're going to be best of friends

Hannah: No but it gives us something to talk about. What's everyone's favorite book or series?

Cameron: Ooof. That's a hard one. Favorite series would have to be Maximum Ride

Logan: I'm a sucker for Romance. My favorite book was Along for the Ride

Carmen: I loved The Gallagher Girls growing up

Hannah: I've always been crazy about the classics. My favorite has to be Pride and Prejudice

Cameron: I can respect that

We talked for hours just getting to know each other. I immediately knew we would be best friends. Although we didn't get deep. I honestly don't trust them enough to let them in. I now realize I probably never will. I pretended to be the happy go lucky girl everyone thinks I am. I don't like being depressing all of the time because I don't want anyone else to have to feel what I do.

I just can't help but think what if they end up loving a fake version of me? Then when I finally let them in, they hate who I really am. It wouldn't be the first time... Most people don't like depressing people. I mean can you blame them? I guess I can understand how frustrating it would be to be friends with someone who is utterly jaded and pessimistic. I'm not saying pessimistic people are depressed. I'm just saying I'm depressed and pessimistic.

I knew some pessimistic people, but they could be hopeful and optimistic sometimes too. I just can never feel that way for whatever reason. Don't get me wrong I wish I wasn't like that, but it is what it is.

The sudden realization hits me that I have school tomorrow. I groan in dread. School to me is just boring. I'm more of a loner so I just sit in the back and try not to fall asleep while the teacher drones on. Maybe school wouldn't be so bad if I had a friend.

But that's not going to happen anytime soon.

I just haven't met someone who liked me for me, and I could be myself around. I eventually just gave up and stopped wasting my time. Would it be nice to have a friend? Yes. Though the last one I had didn't end well... I mean I shouldn't be surprised. The thought of being popular is well popular.

Ditch me to hang out with the rich popular crowd, or be loyal to the depressing loner. It's a no brainer. I understand why she did it. I guess I just never thought she would. Yet another person to add to the list of people who've disappointed me.

Yes I had fun talking to the girls. For a fleeting moment I thought we would be best friends forever. Unfortunately, I realized that stuff doesn't really happen to me, but I would continue to talk to them if they made me happy.

2 Weeks Later...

Cameron: That's awesome

Logan: Definitely my favorite tv show now LOL

Hannah: Hey what're you guys talking about

Cameron: Logan's tv show

Logan: It's called Parks and Recreations

Hannah: I LOVE THAT SHOW!

Logan: I KNOW RIGHT

Cameron: I guess I need to start watching that show LOL

Logan: Yesssss

Hannah: It's on Netflix

Cameron: Dude. Netflix + Sweatpants = a happy life

Hannah: lol

Logan: Sameeee

Hannah: I know we haven't known each other for very long..., but it feels like I've known you guys for forever

Logan: I know right I honestly love talking to you guys so much. It's the highlight of my day everyday.

Cameron: Same. I'm so glad I met you guys

I set my phone down and I realize I meant it. Suddenly everything didn't seem quite as bleak. I'm not quite ready to open up to them yet, but deep down I know that I can trust them. I desperately want to believe they won't judge me and who I am. It's just after everyone's who's let me down in my life I'm not ready to risk more hurt and disappointment.

What if they hated me, or worse pretend to love me and then when times get tough ditch me. I don't want to ruin this. This is the first friendship that's meant something to me in a long time. The last time I had a friend I thought I could trust stabbed me in the back. I hardly even know these people, but it feels like I've known them for years.

It's just those kind of friends. Those rare friends you never want to let go of. The friends you can't imagine your life without, and when you do start to think about it you wonder how you could ever move on. I don't want to get attached to them and lose them. Even if it's not our choice. I love them. I know that I'm just not ready to open up to them.

Not yet.

I hear my phone buzz on the nightstand beside me. I reach over and grab it. I log onto to Skype and read the next message curiously.

Logan: Guys... I have something I need to get off my chest...