Battle Scars

Chapter 3

Cameron: What's wrong Logan?

Hannah: Yeah what's up?

Logan: I just feel like I should be honest with you guys...

Honesty. Something I've personally struggled with... I guess when I really think about it I struggle with a lot of things. Especially anything that involves being social or relationships.

Hannah: You can tell us anything. You know that right?

Logan: Yeah. I do now. I guess I just really need to get this off my chest... I've struggled with bullying ever since I was a little. Not only has it physically hurt me, but I struggle with my identity and who I am. It started with the little things. Like how my name is a boys name. Then it just got worse and worse. My family is wealthy, and I realize now people were jealous of that. They make fun of me for it. They find any weakness they can and exploit it. Which isn't very hard to do I guess. I've never had friends. Who would want to be friends with a girl who gets bullied everyday? I eventually talked to my parents about it. They then talked to the principal and faculty about it but nothing worked. I even started switching schools, but no matter where I went people always hated me. I know I'm ugly, dumb, and basically any insulting thing you can come up with. I used to disagree. I would argue and stand up for myself because no one else would y'know? Then they started to physically hurt me. They beat every insult into me until I accepted it. Until I believed it. I love my parents and all, but they can't stop it. I guess I'm telling you guys this because you're the only real friends I've ever had, and I don't want to lose you guys...

Cameron: Logan... I just want to say that you're beautiful inside and out. People bully other people to make themselves feel better. They're jealous of you Logan. They want to make themselves feel superior at your expense. Don't let them convince you that you're someone you're not.

Hannah: Cameron's right Logan. They're just jealous of you. All I want to do right know is hug you and beat them all up. In the long run Logan you have to know they're wrong. Not you. Bullying is an awful thing Logan and you don't deserve to fall victim to it. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crap everyday. I just want you to know they won't get anywhere in life by being a bully, but you're going to prosper Logan. You will be successful and confident some day. You'll look back on these days and realize they only made you stronger.

Logan: Thanks guys. I mean it. Thank you... I'm so lucky to have met you guys. I would be so lost and lonely without you. I can't imagine my life without you guys. I love you guys.

Cameron: I feel the same way Logan. I love you too.

Hannah: Ditto. I love you guys and I'm so thankful I've gotten to know you.

I look at our conversation and a warm feeling fills me. No matter what I go through I know that I'll always have them to fall back on. I'm eternally grateful for that. Still... I'm not ready to open up yet. Although Logan's courage and honesty does inspire me. They all do.

Then all of a sudden my foster mom, Amanda, walks in. "What are you doing?" She interrogates. I quickly close Skype. "Just playing some game on my phone." I lie smoothly. She nods briskly and walks back out of my room purposefully. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

I log back on to see Carmen joined the conversation.

Carmen: I'm so sorry Logan. You don't deserve that crap. I just want to beat them all to a bloody pulp! It just makes me so mad that they could treat you that way!

Logan: It's alright Carmen. I'm used to it.

Carmen: That's exactly my point! You shouldn't have to get used to their cruelty.

Hannah: Carmen's right.

Cameron: I agree.

Logan: I don't deserve you guys. Thank you.

Andrea walks back in and I frantically close Skype again. "Yes?" I ask annoyance seeping into my tone. She rolls her eyes noting my attitude. "Dinners ready." She growls and I sigh. I put my phone down and drag myself off my bed. She turns and walks out of the room and I trudge begrudgingly after her.

I follow her into the kitchen and take my seat beside Sean, Amanda's son, and across from Ryan her husband. Wordlessly Amanda passes out three plates of spaghetti. Then she grabs her own and takes her place beside her husband. He thanks her and I silently pick at it.

"You're welcome." Amanda says pointedly to Sean and I. I roll my eyes and thank her. Sean just glares and she also rolls her eyes. What a loving family, huh? It always reminds me of how mine was taken from me. A pang of longing hits me and I suddenly don't have an appetite.

I decide to shovel some into my mouth anyways to avoid a lecture from Amanda. I chew and swallow barely tasting it. I hate my life. I hate living here, but I don't really have a choice. What can I do? Run? I have no where to go. I just have to suck it up until I graduate. Then I'll finally be free of this place. I continue eat in silence and drown out Ryan and Amanda's dull conversation.

When I finish I stand and rinse my plate off in the sink. I proceed to open the dishwasher and place my plate in it. I stalk off to my room and log back on Skype. The chat is silent and I debate whether or not I should send something. I decide against it and start my homework instead. After all, I have to make my grades to get out of here.