my thoughts and shit

my normal day and shit i guess

So my normal day starts with my friends talking most of the time they tell me their depressing problems and of course I try to help them and I usely think that I'm not helping but I smile and tell them cheesy stuff and that makes them laugh and when I get home I stay in my room trying not to leave but my dad makes me come out to eat and that makes me feel fat  and  I go in my room thinking about the bullies and I think about cutting myself but I don't I just calm down and write my feelings in my red notebook and I watch my computer and see if anyone request anything in my books
My thoughts are saying most of the time is I'm fat ugly useless everyone hates me I should die no one will even care and just kill yourself already you piece of shit and I believe every word it says one time I try to kill myself but I stop because I was thinking about my friends and family and y'all so I didn't
Sorry about rumbling i hope y'all have a nice day/night