Various!Food x Reader

Pizza x Reader

~2nd POV~

You were walking down your hallway, when you heard a mysterious voice hiss at you, "(Y/N)! Over here!" The mysterious voice seemed to be coming from the kitchen. You thought that it was your roommate, but you didn't know for sure as all hushed voices sounded the same to you. Just to be safe, you grabbed the pointiest pen from your desk.

Slowly, but surely, you made it to the kitchen.

No one was there, just an open pizza box that your roommate obviously didn't throw away.

You went to close it so it could fit in the bin, but again the mysterious voice spoke in a quiet voice, "No, (Y/N)! Don't close the pizza box! I'm in the pizza box, and I need you to take me out!"

This obviously made you very curious.

You walked over to the other side of the counter to see what was in the box that was somehow speaking.

There was a piece of pizza in the box, complete with olive eyes, a mushroom nose, and a very meaty mouth.

"Good! Good," the pizza paused for a moment then restated, "I need you to take me out of this box." Both times it spoke, you saw it's meaty mouth move in sync with it's voice.

You sat there in awe for a good five minutes because you had never seen a piece of pizza talk before, especially when it has eyes, an nose, and a mouth.

The pizza somehow coughed, and you jumped, "Right, right. Sorry," you picked the pizza up. It was surprisingly stiff, both to the touch and in the air. It was also cold, but that was expected.

"Okay, now I need you to eat me," the pizza piece instructed you.

"Could I heat you up in the microwave?" You asked it. The pizza muttered it's response of acceptance.

After heating it in the microwave, you came to the conclusion that the pizza was good enough to eat.

You took a bite and the pizza moaned in pleasure, "Oh my god, I've waited hours for this!"

You stopped and looked at the triangular piece of tomato sauce, various meats, cheese, two olives, and a single mushroom.

"Why did you stop eating me?" The pizza seemed mad. You didn't know that pizza had feelings.

"Because you moaned. That's really weird," you sassily responded.

The pizza seemed really agitated at the moment, "Just shut up and eat me (Y/N)!"

'How do pizza yell?' You wondered to yourself.

You let the thought slip away as you devoured the talking pizza. It moaned as loud and as much as Gerard Way does in DESTROYA. That is, until you ate it's meaty mouth anyway.

When you were done, the pizza was currently making it's way down your esophagus, and into the stomach.

You soon went to sleep, after that experience.

In the morning, after you woke up anyway, you though that you got high off your mind, and went to the bathroom.

Goodbye, talking pizza slice.

_____________

HEllo ReAder!!!

backstory on why this monstrosity was created-

My friend for some reason looked up "doritos x reader" and then told me to look it up too. At the time I was eating pizza.

Yeahh... long story short I was inspired to write a "pizza x reader" and she was inspired to write a "cheesecake x reader" and then I said "I'm gonna make a book on this account and then we'll make (insert food) x readers"

It's nice to know that this is the first published book on this account

your whalecum

*wellcome not whalecum

bye