Depressing Poems

42

I never knew a friendship could hurt so bad.
I never knew what it was like to have your friend be in such a bad place that you, too, want to die.
I never knew what it's like to be in such a toxic relationship.
Dating or not, married or not, friends or not; toxins are toxins.
I thought he loved me, I thought we were friends.
He did love me, he probably still does, but we weren't friends.
I was just his lifeline.
He would only come to me when he had a problem.
Only I would hear about how his life is "basically just depression".
I wouldn't be able to tell him about how I felt. Only he could talk.
I tried to help you, Gryphon.
I did, really. I know what it's like to feel worthless, to hate yourself and your life.
I've been suicidal. I've wanted to die, too!!
And I helped you because no one deserves to feel that way.
I gave you so much advice.
"If you wish for something hard enough, you can make it come true"
You ignored it..
"No one will be there for you like you are for yourself"
You didn't even reply to that. You left
"But if I can get through it, so can you"
"I gave up hockey" was your response.
You didn't even try to do anything I said. You gave up on yourself, so I had to also.
You can't help a person that doesn't want to be helped.
The next day you messaged me again.
This time you said your cat died.
I helped you. I stayed up all night while you said you self-harmed and was tying the noose.
So I helped you again. And again. And again.
Until I decided that enough is enough.
I told you that you were making all of this negative energy go to me.
I said I had to let you go.
I said goodbye and slammed the door on our friendship.
I blocked you.
That night I didn't sleep. I was too happy.
You were gone and I was free.
And fuck, did it feel good as hell
I unblocked you after two weeks.
You followed me.
You DMed me.
I was mad. I wouldn't let you in!
So I kicked you out. After I cursed you out.
I won't ever unblock you, Gryphon. You hurt me so bad. I had to go.
So, I'm laying my demons to rest.
Don't ask how I am, because if I'm writing this- I'm still broken.

And it's all your fault.