Dream Catcher

Chapter 14- Alcoholism

Broken by Lifehouse

CHAPTER 14- Alcoholism

Its been a week. And I am still suffering from the aftermath of my failed relationship, my hallucinations of demons, meeting the girl from my dreams whom I still see very often in my sleep and even when I wake up, and surprisingly to just complete everything, I was just fired from the library and my research was given an on-hold funding. So practically, I am officially a mess up bachelor.

I opened the curtains in my living room, before my eyes was a result of a one week depression state. Several bottles of beer on the floor, some of them still dripping letting out a foul smell. There was three black and blue labels which was the bid adios of my last salary. There was also cup noodles packages on the table together with some cracked chip crackers on my carpet. Stains of Chinese Soup delivered on my couch, oh that's gonna leave a mark unless an urgent laundry.

My head is pounding, yesterday night I hallucinated another demon, he wasn't ugly at all. He was just like me, he was telling me to die than dwell on this suffering. Pero nalasing na siguro ako kasi Hindi ko na natatandaan ang sumunod na nangyari.

I do not usually drink, I just can't accept all these. But this must stop, masyado na akong nacacarried-away ng frustrations ko. Ni wala man lang akong makausap, yung tao.

I started picking up pieces of garbage. I also opened the windows because of the smell. Even the dust scurried just to get out of my apartment. The rain was forming above the Metro. And on que the girl appeared in front of me, she claims herself as an "angel".

"Naglilinis ka na. Anong nakain mo?" she said. Ano ko ba siya Nanay? I ignored her, like what I have been doing the past days. When everything started to sink in. Ano na ang gagawin ko ngayon? Wala na akong trabaho.

Then I heard the knock from the door. Walang pag-asa tong paglilinis ko, I just cleared the scatters from the couch and the table and set it inside a plastic. I went for the door. And with all the odds, it was Mrs. Rivera.

"Mrs. Rivera." I acknowledged. Lumabas na ako sa pinto at sinamahan siya sa labas. I cannot let her in, not in that chaos inside. Ni ipis nga ayaw tumira don.

"Ethan look at yourself. When was the last time you shaved?Oh goodness, ano ba ang nangyayari sayo?" she

cupped my face like I was glass. Iniiwas ko ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"Sino yang kasama mo Ma?" I asked to change the topic away from me. I was referring to the guy in black beside her, bakit may body guard?

"Sinong kasama? I went here alone, and the driver at the car." she looked confused.  Oh. Ito yun e, kung bakit hindi na ako na ako lumalabas. Kasi I see glitched figures. Angels.

"I'm sorry Ma, hang-over lang siguro." she nod at me once. Tapos nagbuntong-hininga, pabigat na naman ako sa kanya.

"Hindi mo ba ako papapasukin?"

"You don't want to see that."

"Well I'll wait outside you go dress up, let's have lunch together. It seems you don't to eat well these past few days." then she tapped my shoulder and went for the elevator. Sinunod ko naman siya at pumasok na rin ako para magbihis sa loob ng unit.

I tried so hard to ignore my visions and focus on my adopted mother the whole meal. It was the first meal I jad in days. My stomach needed time to process the weird sensation of food in my system.

She was checking on me, if there is one thing constant in our relationship, its this. Her checking on me if I am doing fine taking care of her.. And apparently at this moment, I am not.

When I went back home, I am fully aware that Robin was following me. This has been the longest day, since I was literally sober today. It has been ghastly, but being drunk really helped.

Paakyat na ako sa unit ko, at Hindi ko alam kung bakit may hawak na naman akong bote ng gin.

Alcoholism.That's alcoholism.

I wasn't shock to find a disgustingly ugly creature crawling at my foyer. It was bloody red. It was spreading its slimy blood along my carpetted floor. Tsk, this is what I hate in my life now, seeing stuff. Seeing demons.

The only good thing about it was someone's been fighting my battles for me. She was always there, but she was something I could never understand. She was literally in the A-Team.

And today, she looks very, very exhausted she didn't even bother looking at the demon on the floor. She just simply stepped on it with her black studded boots. Its heels, assuming 4inches, sinked right in between the bloodshot eyes. It was a gory vision. Blood was already everywhere in the floor but most of all, its eyes. It was like chocolate fudge spilling out of the donut. But it wasn't pleasant,at all.

I disregarded the sight, and drank the remains of the bottle. I needed sleep, and this is the only way I can do to get some sleep. But even in my dreams she is getting on my nerves, seeping through my bones. She is everywhere.

Did I deserve this? I had enough of self-pity.

I opened my phone and saw that it has been connected on its charger for days, magtataka na ako kapag hindi pa yun fully charged.

"Its good to know that you can still pull off a joke Ethan." Robin said, as usual she appeared out of nowhere. I swiped my phone to life, and saw a set of where are you dude, haven't heard from u, and some greetings. Wait what? Greetings?

Oh great. Its my birthday? No wonder my mother went here. And its just perfect isn't it? Even I myself forgot about my own birthday. Some narcisstic fool would be mad about that. Mrs. Rivera did came, but she didn't mentioned it.

I raise the bottle I was holding.

"ROBIN!" I shouted. She didn't dissapoint, she walked in my doorframe, arms crossed. Her short innocent dress just above her pale shiny legs. And her boots slobbery from the previous battle.

"What? You're talking to me now?"

I showed her my raised bottle. And headed a cheers.

"To bloody battles."

And I gulped it down like there's no tomorrow. Because there is no tomorrow.

And for the first time in the past weeks, I cried. I was 8 again, a kid. With no one to wipe my eyes.

But I was wrong because tonight, someone did wipe my tears. I didn't want her to, but it felt so . . .alien. With someone to wipe the pain away. I faced her, and she smiled at me. Like I didn't made anything wrong. She looked at me as if she telling me that its okay little boy.

Tama na to. Para akong tanga kapag ganito. My failed relationship, my family, my work, lahat yun may Mali. Pero uupo na lang na ako dito?

Tatayo ka bukas, hahakbang ka. Survive. This is a black hole I got into, but I won't let it get the worst of me. I already handled the worst. Maghahanap ako ng sagot. Gagawa ako ng paraan. Hindi pwede to.

I need the strong Ethan. I need myself back. Like how that 8year old manage to face life. It was like it was happening all over again. Kinaya ko noon, kakayanin ko ngayon.

I needed some fixing. And I can do that myself.

"You always make me proud. Happy Birthday Ethan." I heard her say just before the alcohol sinks in.