The next week or so went past in a blur, most of my nights spent in the crow's nest. Some of them spent alone, others not so much. The hunger pains is what made me finally swallow my fear of either falling off the rope going down or just hanging there by a foot. I went slowly, my arms and legs shaking like fall leaves in a breeze. Eventually, I made it to the deck, still shaking when I got my small meal of an orange. Maybe it was nothing for the men, but it was enough for me. I ate graciously as I wandered the deck, running into the captain by mistake. He was having a conversation with Eridan, so you could say he was pretty pissed when he turned on me.
"What the hell do ya think yer doin'? Get to work! And watch where ya place yer footfalls next time. Ya scuffed me boots." He practically growled between clenched teeth, as if he were resisting the urge to lash out.
Eridan had this smug looking grin plastered on his face. He was probably finding all this funny. And my shivering probably made it a hell of a lot funnier for him.
I swallowed and refused to look him in the eyes. "Yes sir." I said, backing away slowly.
I noticed he made an odd face out of the corner of the eye. Why would he make such a strange face? I only said- my voice. I had forgotten about my voice, 'high as an angel's song' my mother would've said.
"Not come of age yet? Or are ya just unfortunate?"
"U-Unfortunate, sir." Why was I still talking? I was just making it worse for myself.
He grunted and came closer, having to lean down to look me straight in the eye. "Yer hidin' somethin'."
I shook my head quickly. "N-No, sir. Honest."
"Maybe he's just intimidated, cap'n." A voice said from behind Dualscar. Why was he always around when I was in an uncomfortable situation? "Y'know, bein' a greenie and all."
He had his arms folded across his chest, looking bored, when the captain stood straight. The captain tilted his head, a look of annoyance on his face as he approached his son. "And who asked for yer opinion?"
Cronus shrugged and glanced at me a second before looking back to the elder Ampora. "No one. Just wvanted to put it out there. Such high and mighty powver can make ya sound a bit girlish." He said, sounding sarcastic but the captain didn't catch on.
"Hm...perhaps yer right..."He looked me over and I shifted a bit on my feet, wanting to be invisible.
His son rolled his eyes as his father stared at me, sighing when it had gone on long enough. "He should really be gettin' back to the nest."
"Yes, yes. A course." He waved me off and I gladly scurried off to the ropes, climbing all the way to the top.
I sat there a moment, staring at the water, before I started shaking. All my nerves and emotions I pent up down on the deck came rushing out. I cried, then laughed, then cried again, all the while shaking violently. I heard the familiar sound of someone climbing up the ropes and grabbed the pillow, trying to calm my sobs as I pressed my face into it.
I felt cold. Then I felt warmth, feeling the blanket being draped over my shoulders. He was silent, and I was thankful for that. I didn't want to hear 'it's okay.' Because it wasn't. And he seemed to understand that. Maybe he had been in the same situation. I started to say something multiple times, then thought better. Finally, I just said it as he started to say something as well.
"Why didn't you ju-"
"I told ya to sta-"
I stopped. He told me to go ahead.
"Why didn't you just tell him? Save you the trouble of having to keep a secret.." I messed with my shirt sleeve, looking anywhere but at him.
He blinked and did a half laugh, half sigh. "Because I knowv wvhat he'll do to ya. Wvhat he'll let my brother do to ya. Wvhat he'll let the crewv do to ya. Then, afterwvards, wvhatevwer's left of ya, he'll feed to the sharks." He looked at me sadly.
I kept silent and hugged myself into a ball, placing my forehead on my folded arms as I continued to shiver. "Have you seen it happen before?"
"No, but I don't wvant to." He scooted a little closer, my shivers apparently obvious.
"I-I'm not cold." I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and sniffed.
"I knowv." He said softly, not coming any closer, keeping his distance. We stayed like that for the rest of the day, him only moving to get us something to eat occasionally, though I usually turned it down and stayed in my position until I closed my eyes and sleep washed over me.
