But The Memories Won't Let Me Go

Dear Seamus

Dear Seamus,

Its almost Christmas. A few months after the incident. I miss you, big time. I now how cliche this is gonna sound, but i never realized how much you actually meant to me, till you left this world. I can here your voice now, "quit being a whiny bitch and suck it up". Yup that was our relationship. It was great. I know that you wanted to end the pain, but what about my pain, or Olivia's? How about Penny's? I know that no one would believe me, but I saw you. In a dream, or vision.

There was a house, on a hill. People were walking around doing household chores, gardening, mowing the grass. I passed all them and went inside. I knew I was looking for something but I didn't know what. As I was walking through the house, i noticed it was bigger on the inside than the outside. Then I came across you. You where sitting in a brown suede chair. In your socks, some blue jeans and a black t-shirt, laughing. Your hair was a little longer than last time I saw you. And you looked so young, and happy. You had a light in your eye's that wasn't there for a long time. When I saw you I ran to you and kneeled by the chair and I asked how you were. You said you were great, that you've never been better. I was confused. I knew deep down that I wanted you back, so I told you "lets go". You didn't move, instead you asked, "where?" I replied, "come on, we have to go back". Then you said "why?"...."I'm happy here, and besides he won't let us leave." I asked you, "who?" You didn't reply, instead I found myself at the bottom of the hill again. I haven't seen you since. It hurts Seamus, It hurts real bad. I miss you, and since Christmas is almost here, It hit even worse. I don't know why its affecting me now, But I wish I said more when you were alive. I wish I told you just how much you meant to me. I miss you. I love you Seamus, And I'm glad your happy.

With love,

-Cindy Child