Chapter Twelve

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I didn't lose you. You lost me. You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and I won't be found -R.H. Sin

***

"Baby I missed you so much," Paul said as he lifted me up and twirled me around in his arms. I laughed.

The past week Paul had been on vacation in Florida with his family. While he was gone I realized that he was probably a better match for me than Ethan. I also realized that I had some true feelings for Paul. I missed him like crazy.

"Down boy," I joked. Soon my feet were back on solid ground. Paul pressed his lips to mine. I heard Layla and Jessica snicker from behind. Two days ago Layla and I told Jess about the Ethan situation. Of course, Jess acted as if Ethan proposed.

When the kiss was over Paul started in the direction of the school. "I'll be right in," I whispered. Then I watched him disappear into the school. I walked to my truck and joined my friends on the tailgate of my truck.

"It's gonna break his heart when you leave him," Jess stated.

I responded, "No it won't...because I'm not going to,"

Layla, who was drinking water from her water bottle, started to choke. "Are you alright?" I asked. She nodded, "So I don't need to call the ambulance?"

Layla rolled her eyes. "You're gonna stay with him?"

"Yeah." I pulled out my phone and texted Ethan to meet me at Barnes and Noble.

Jess said, "Whatever you have to tell yourself."

***

I arrived at the store early on purpose. I needed to get myself a hot cocoa if I was gonna break a heart. Waiting in line felt like a ticking time bomb. Just make it quick, I thought, like ripping off a band-aid. I sat down at an empty table and silently sipped my drink.

"Hey," Ethan said as he pulled a chair out to sit on. I waved. "You wanted to talk."

I stood up and started getting ready to leave. "I chose Paul. We're not gonna happen. Sorry," I said before walking away as fast as possible so he wouldn't see me cry.

I was closing the door to the outside when the first tear fell from my eyes. This was your choice, I thought, you have no right to cry. I stared straight ahead, begging myself not to break the promise that I made to Paul.

I heard feet pounding on the pavement behind me. I turned around just when Ethan reached me.

"Juliette I know you better than anyone you ever met. Also, I'm not stupid. I know that you're not telling me the whole truth," Ethan told me, his blue eyes looking straight into mine. I wanted to look away. Those eyes always made my head all foggy.

I responded slowly, "I don't know what you're talking about. I love Paul."

Ethan rolled his eyes. "I already told you that I'm not stupid. Also, you're crying so I know that there's something else going on."

"You don't know me anymore. I've changed a lot in these last two years."

"You can blame your mother for that, not me."

I looked away. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't even take responsibility for his actions. I turned back to him, a death glare in my eyes. "I haven't even talked to my mother in a month and you were the one who left. Not her." I could feel a tear running down my cheek but I didn't care. Ethan's hand moved to wipe it away. When he touched my face, shivers went down my spine. But I refused to let him know he had an effect on me. "We can have this conversation when you take responsibility for your actions."

I attempted to walk away but Ethan grabbed my arm, twirling back so I faced him. Regret held heavy in his eyes.

"I know I left. Do you really think that I haven't regretted that?" he asked.

"We both know that if I didn't happen to be at that grocery store then you wouldn't have thought twice about me." Ethan stood still, lost in thought. "I don't want to just be another girl and with you, that's all I'll ever be."

I saw Ethan's face light up. He grabbed my keys, stuffed them in his pocket, then threw me over his shoulder. For a few seconds, I was confused but that didn't make me any less loud.

"What the heck?" I blurted. "Put me down!"

"We're going somewhere. I'll bring you back to get your truck later." Ethan put me in his passenger seat. I tried to get out but I could tell he wasn't gonna let me go until we arrived at whatever place we were going.

About five minutes into the drive I spoke up. "This could be called kidnapping."

Ethan turned down the radio. I frowned. I loved that song. It was a classic in country music. I liked that Ethan and I had the same taste in music. Paul liked rap, my least favorite.

"You invited me so, no, it couldn't," Ethan responded.

"Where are we even going?" I asked, hearing the whine in my voice.

"It's a surprise." Then Ethan turned up the music. I rolled my eyes. Is he gonna be this annoying the whole time? I asked myself.

"Just tell me," I demanded.xxdx

"Sorry!" he yelled over the music with a smirk. "I can't hear you!"

I rolled my eyes. Then the chorus hit and he yelled it as loud as he could. I shook my head as I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face. I looked at Ethan. The one boy who could make me laugh when I wanted to cry. I wasn't ready to let him go.

Fifteen minutes later we arrived at a sight that seemed to be way too familiar. As Ethan found a parking spot I saw the shops that I knew so well. Ethan parked the car and we both got out.

"Why would you bring me here?" I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"To remember your past. You used to act in the building. You were quite good. But you mother made you stop. Since I lived down the street when you would finish rehearsal my family would meet you. Then we would come down to this very farmer's market."

The building was old and beautiful, just like always and the people at the market were happy. The mood was contagious. But I wouldn't let myself smile just yet.
I put my hand on my hip and asked, "Your point?"

"I loved coming here with you. And you loved acting. I want that back."

A small smile tugged at my lips and my cheeks turned pink.

"Do I know you?" a woman at a nearby stand asked. She was selling jewelry. I remembered her.

"Yeah," I said as I approached her. "Juliette and Ethan."

"Oh, the best friends. Good to see that you two kids finally got together," the lady answered.

My eyes went wide and I said, "We're not a couple."

"I know right," Ethan said at the same time. He grabbed my hand and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes.

The lady gave us a confused look. "We're not a couple yet," Ethan explained, grabbing my hand.

I gave him a look. His response, a smug smirk. "I hate you," I said.

"I know." He reached out and messed up my hair. The lady laughed.

She said, "You guys are a riot."

I smiled and leaned into his embrace, sparks ignited my skin.

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