Are We Really Together? (KageHina)

The captain's sorrow

Daichi stared blankly at the ball. Something warm rolled down his cheeks. He knew he was crying. Everything was over. It was all o-v-e-r. But as captain, he couldn't exhibit weakness. He quickly used his arms to swipe his tears away. He looked around. Hinata was bawling, and Kageyama looked dazed. Tsukishima looked normal enough but he knew it was just a facade. Nishinoya and Tanaka were wrapped around each other, dramatically wailing. Asahi was crouched at the corner of the court, silently weeping. Suga was trying his best to comfort the sobbing Yamaguchi even though he himself had tears stained on his face. Kinoshita, Ennoshita and Narita were all trying fervently to wipe the uncontrollable tears off their faces. Yachi and Takeda-sensei were crying too. But the most unexpected was that Coach Ukai was bawling his eyes out. Kiyoko, with tears shining in her eyes, was trying her best to offer comfort and tissues to all of them.

The other end of the court came cheers and laughter. That could have been them! It was all his fault. All his fault. If he had moved fast enough and received the ball. It wouldn't have ended. When the new guy got rolled in, he should have been on his toes, had better reflexes. He should have trained more. But he didn't. He underestimated them, he got complacent. Then, they lost. Daichi found tears once again dripping on the floor beneath his feet. He closed his eyes for a minute, upon getting some new found determination as his last duty as captain, he gently ushered his teammates to the center of the court for formalities. 

Daichi found himself unknowingly looking at Sakusa as Sakusa shot a smug look at Tsukishima. Daichi felt his blood boil, which he tried with utmost efforts to hold in and keep under control. After exchanging pleasantries, they went for a buffet lunch held at the gymnasium's multipurpose hall. Food apparently cheered everyone up. Daichi was glad to see everyone a little happier although his heart still felt that twinge of pain. Afterwards, it was the prize giving. Coach Ukai got best coach, he deserved it, being able to bring Karasuno from nothing to 2nd nationwide. The best libero went to as usual, Itachiyama Academy's Motoya Komori. Overall best player went to someone from Inarizaki. Kageyama, Tsukishima and Nishinoya (who did a very very good job as libero) made it to the list of the best six players, together with Akaashi, Sakusa, and Kiryuu. Then it was the prize giving. Being second was a big honour. Daichi was sure that when they got back to Miyagi, there was going to be a huge celebration, on the next school day, Monday. He had two days to recover. He thought as he flashed the biggest smile he could muster while posing for a team photo with medals, trophy and all.

The bus ride home was quiet. Everyone had fallen asleep, tired. Hinata and Kageyama were leaning on each other. They looked perfect and peaceful in their own world of dreams. Beside him, Suga couldn't resist snapping a picture. Both of them wondered what took the two first-years so long to get together. A weak smile formed on Daichi's lips as he gazed out of the window. Suga beside him had also floated off into the land of dreams, head pressing against Daichi's shoulder. The silence gave him space and freedom to sort out his thoughts and reflect.

The last ember from the Sun had just vanished behind the mountains when they reached Karasuno's school compound. Daichi took the initiative to wake everyone up, thanking everyone for their hardwork before they all headed back to their homes. Coach Ukai treated them to pork buns too and everyone was happy, munching a before dinner snack as they parted ways.

Daichi pushed open the door to his house. Calling a greeting to his family, he went up to his room, closing the door. Now that he was home, he felt like crying really really badly. He felt terrible. He blamed himself. Somewhere in his heart just couldn't get over the fact that they had lost. He wasn't satisfied with the second place medal that shone proudly on his bookshelf. They could have gotten first if not for him. He wished at least someone would have confronted him about it, scolded him about it, maybe he would have felt better. It would have felt way better than this overwhelming sick emotion that washed over him now. He grabbed the medal, hurling it on the floor in frustration. Why didn't he do better? Why? Why? Hot tears welled in his eyes and streamed down his face. The medal hit the floor with a tinkle. It was a melodious sound, but to Daichi, it felt like the medal was mocking him, taunting him that they weren't first everytime he looked at it, and that he would never have the chance to get first anymore for volleyball. Never again. It pained his heart greatly. He flopped on his bed, tired by the day's events, and soon drifted off into a disturbing sleep.

Daichi found himself in the tokyo gymnasium again, as the day's events flashed before his eyes. He watched blankly as the ball hit his shoes. He tried to move, to just run after the ball, but his feet wouldn't budge. He could only stare helplessly as the ball bounced to a stop. The whistle shrilled.

"Nooo!" Daichi screamed as he bolted up in cold sweat and tears streaking down his face. Suga, sitting by his bed, stirred. Wait, what? By now the silver hair lad had already got up and was stroking Daichi's back, whispering words of comfort. "Suga?" "Hey, Daichi. Your mum let me in. You looked weird after the match, it was worrying me. So I came to check on you after changing." Daichi realised that the medal was back to its original place on the shelf. "Thanks." Daichi muttered a soft reply, gazing into Suga's warm greenish brown eyes. "Care to tell me about the bad dream you had?" Suga smiled. "I...well, I dreamt that I was back at the gymnasium. And Sakusa had just spiked the last ball. I couldn't do anything at all. I only watched as the ball rebounded off my feet and...onto the ground. I wanted to move. I couldn't. I couldn't. I let...my team down, Suga. I'm not fit to lead the team. I never felt so helpless in my life."

Suga looked at the emotional mess of a person in front of him. It was kind of hard to believe that this person was the ever prideful captain of the Karasuno team, the strong determined guy, who had always led them well, his comrade, his friend. And now, this once strong person, was reduced to this vulnerable state in front of him. Daichi never showed weakness. Suga couldn't help but feel happy that Daichi trusted him that much. "You know Daichi, nobody blames you. The ball was so fast. When I was watching, the ball seemed impossible to catch. It wasn't your fault. Accidents happen, nobody can predict them. Don't fret anymore ok?" Suga sat beside Daichi on his bed, moving his fingers through Daichi's hair as he consoled the 18 year old. "Everyone makes mistakes. Even you. We didn't get first but we got second. And nationwide on top of it. It is a remarkable achievement. So hush Daichi, don't blame yourself. You are a great captain, as far as everyone's concerned." Suga pulled Daichi into a warm embrace. Daichi felt his breathing began to regulate and slow down. "Thanks Koushi." Suga turned pink, he wasn't used to Daichi calling him by his given name.

Daichi realised he was still decked in Karasuno jersey set. He immediately got up, grabbed some clothes and headed for a shower. "Wait for me, Suga. I'll be quick. Why don't you stay over today?" Suga nodded his head "Mhm. Love you, Daichi." He whispered as Daichi bolted for the door. "What did you say?" "Nothing of importance." Suga flashed him a refreshing smile.

Daichi chuckled as he walked to the bathroom. Suga's smiles were so cute but Suga was obviously hiding something. What was it? He caught some parts of what Suga said. "...love...chi-" Love Daichi? No...He must be thinking too much. Suga would never like someone like him. Not as a romantic interest anyway. He stepped into the bathroom and was greeted by a spray of warm water.