A/N I own nothing
I heard this greek myth forever ago I thought it was hillarious.
ok for those of you who haven't heard the myth and for all of you who have here is a summery in my own words.
the myth starts with oedipus's father
Oedipus's father was a king but of course that wasn't enough so he went to see the prophet tyriesies to make sure his future was secure.
OEDIPUS'S FATHER: "So Tyreisies...Is My future secure?"
TYREISIES: "Heck no! You are going to be killed by your own son and then your son is gonna marrie your wife! ew incest get it away!
OEDIPUS'S FATHER: " HA HA jokes on you I don't even have a son!"
So Oedipus's father (Slight hint in the name if you didn't catch it) went home and
OEDIPUS'S MOTHER: "Wow honey you wont beleive it!"
OEDIPUS'S FATHER: "What?"
OEDIPUS'S MOTHER: "Right after you left I found out I was pregnant."
OEDIPUS'S FATHER: "WHAT!"
OEDIPUS'S MOTHER: "and you were gone so long that I had the child while you were away!"
OEDIPUS'S FATHER: "OHHH NOOOO!"
OEDIPUS'S MOTHER: "And even better it's a boy!"
OEDIPUS'S FATHER: "NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!"
then oedipu's father took him far away and gave him to a farmer and his wife to raise and everyone was happy until oedipus's father left on some kind of heroic venture and a sphinx took up residence outside the city.
the oedipus grew up and decided that he wanted to go on a quest and went to the prophet tyreisies for advice.
TYREISIES: "you will kill your father and mary your mother."
OEDIPUS: "Well that sucks."
TYREISIES: "well sucks to be you then"
well Oedipus didn't like the Idea at all so he bid his family a fond fairwell and left (he didn't know he was adopted.)
On the road he came across an old beggar being beaten up by what looked like a theif (What he didn't know was that the "theif" was his father who had just been robbed by the "beggar") so Oedipus jumps into the fray and killss the "theif" and travles with the "beggar" towards the city. late one night the "beggar" steals all of Oedipus's money and posesions then leaves. but that dosn't realy matter because Oedipus got to the city the next day. and the sphinx asked him the riddle
for those of you who don't know
if a shinx ask a riddle your only 2 options are answer the question correctly or die
you can't run
you can't get it wrong
just the 2 options
anyway
SPHINX: "here is my riddle puny human"
OEDIPUS: "Why are you calling me Puney?"
SHINX: "for one thing I'm like 100 times your size. and for anpther the writer told me to and she'll kill me off if I don't srick to her script."
OEDIPUS: "okay I understand that."
ME: "if you two are quite finished... GET BACK TO THE STORY BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL OFF"
SHINX & OEDIPUS: "yes ma'am"
ME: "thats bettter"
SPHINX: "here is the riddle puny human
what has four legs in the morning
two legs in the after noon
and three in the evening"
OEDIPUS: "umm...man?"
SHPINX: darn you win"
then the sphinx ran away in shame Oedipus was greeted with cheers in the city and was given his pick of girls to marry so he married the prettiest one (his mom) and had four daughters with her. (EWWWWW! INCEST!) anyway later like his father he gat bored and went to see Tyreisies
OEDIPUS (still ever so clueless): "Ha Tyreisies I win I didn't do anythin you said in your prediction "
TYREISIES: "oh yeah? jey here's a fun fact for you. you were adopted. ooohhhhh stings dont it?"
OEDIPUS (comprehension dawning) : "NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!"
btw he gouged out his own eyes after that and after his wife found out she killed herself
the end
A/N well I thought it was funny
Tyreisies is awsome and I can't spell her hame for the life of me
