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"Did you see Cock Robin die?"
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I AM A FORENSIC PATHOLOGIST. For a living, I come to conclusions as to the way a person has died by examining them. I assist the detectives, prosecutors and judges in establishing whether somebody or something should be held accountable for the death of these persons.
Some say my career is the questionable part of the medical field, and this especially arises when a polite dinner conversation hiccups when a fellow diner puts forth the dreaded question: "So what do you do?"
I venture, in a cowardly way: "I am in the medical profession", hoping it will stall the inevitable. It rarely ever does.
"Oh, so where do you practice?" I can feel the 'I-need-to-ask-you-a-quick-question-about-my-medical-problem' query coming up. Swallow and sigh.
"I am a forensic pathologist and I work at a mortuary."
I would count one, two, three... and then each individual reaction appears. Half my dinner companions are gagging on the rare steaks they were so enjoying, and the other half put down their cutlery in fascination, loaded with questions, "So you cut up dead people for a living?"
"To euphemise my job, yes."
Considering that death is the ultimate disease, it is understandable that medical doctors will go beyond the treatment of living patients and fight the ultimate disease by examining the deceased.
Death is not a nice topic at a social event, so I do try and avoid the job-specific questions at dinner tables. However, death is presumably always the hot topic in a courtroom, and when I am called to the stand into the witness box to give my testimony on the deceased, I'm supposed to be in my element.
"Maella, M-A-E-L-L-A, Evans, E-V-A-N-S."
The defence attorney stood in front of the box, facing me with a smirk on his face. He was one of those ostentatious lawyers, one who was in the business for notability of being acquainted with the law and earning big bucks and not for the experience nor defending individuals who were falsely charged with criminal activity and clearing their name.
