Divided Self

Chapter 3

Alfred wiped off the sweat from his forehead and held his scalp. His limbs shook on their own as his eyes teared up. The nauseousness never subsided along with the thumping heartbeat.

He held his head tighter and tighter until it bled from his nails. Alfred couldn't comprehend any of this.

Alfred hopelessly fell back with a stumble then stared at his candle like an owl. He started to cry out of fear and he couldn't stop it.

Alfred still considered himself sane, though. He was ok, just a little confused.

Alfred held his painful arms tightly and rested his head on his knees. He tried to breathe slowly and not think of the situation. If anything, he should worry about his guests.

Alfred breathed deeply and stood back up to get another shirt, but only a long sleeve shirt.

He opened the little cabinet in his bathroom for random clothing he had that were probably dirty, but he didn't want to risk going out like this.

He put on a black colored blouse with a vest and made sure to button his sleeves, then quietly walked out of the bathroom.

"God you take so long you dimwit, I thought for sure I was going to throw up on your floor." Arthur was already planted at the door. He stood angry a moment before he eyed him curiously.

"Why the hell are you sweating so much?" Arthur observed his body.

"I don't really know..?" Alfred smiled nervously.

"Piss off." Arthur stared at him in stupidity. "I need to to go." He made his way into the bathroom.

Alfred went into his living room hoping he didn't miss anything in the bathroom. His body fiddled with anxiety the entire time Arthur was in there.

"Thanks for letting me stay Alfred." Francis' voice lingered in a flirtatious tone. He was laid on the floor beside the sofa not 100% sober yet.

"Yeah no problem Francis, but are you going to leave.. anytime soon?" Alfred laughed nervously. "I feel a little sick myself." Alfred kept rubbing his arms behind him trying to stop the pain.

"Ehh why? I like it here but if you say so, Alfred." Francis attempted to stand up and yelled for Arthur.

"Shut up you asswipe!" Arthur aggressively opened the door and eyed Francis. "I'll be going too." Arthur fixed his tie and picked up his bags.

"Thanks for inviting us." Arthur opened the door while Francis nodded.

"You kind of invited yourself but you're welcome I suppose." Alfred waved at them leaving.

As soon as they shut the door, Alfred fell to the floor and covered his mouth trying not to scream with the paper thin walls. His eyes teared up but he tried not to cry. The pain was unbearable but he ended taking these new risky pain relieving medicines. Anything is worth getting rid of the pain.

As the pain went down, Alfred thought to check his entire house for any evidence of people getting in. He still had no idea how any of this happened, but sure enough, nothing was broken or out of the ordinary.

"What the hell.." Alfred laughed out of breath after checking every place he knew. It was already getting dark but Alfred didn't want to sleep. He was scared to close his eyes for anything.

He locked all the doors and hid himself in the closet with a knife for protection. There were also many guns locked in there.

"I'm ok now.. this is ok." Alfred smiled alone in the dark closet. It was locked and no one could get in. Alfred still didn't want to sleep, but he didn't feel well. He slowly lost consciousness, but it felt peaceful.

~

Alfred opened his eyes. He could tell it was morning by the noises outside, but then he felt a burning sensation on his thigh. Alfred tensed up and was scared to see because nothing should've happened at all. The door was still locked and the knife was still in his hand.

Alfred opened the closet and winced at the bright light from his windows. He looked down on his thigh and froze. There were words lightly carved all over his skin on top of each other. They weren't nearly as deep as his arms but they still stung.

Alfred fell and started to breathe rapidly. He choked on the air he tried to inhale and then noticed the closet he just came out of. All the guns were nicely set in a design around the closet, but he never did that.

Tears fell down Alfred's face as he tried to breathe. He held his thigh but also realized his own knife was the one blooded. He threw it across the room and looked around over and over. No one was here but him.

"Come out! Show yourself!" Alfred screamed with a cracked voice multiple times as he sobbed.

He heard nothing and looked at his own hands with fear.

"I'm the only one?" Alfred felt faint from lack of air and fell onto the ground. He felt a strange sensation and couldn't do anything about it.

"Stop it! Please! Stop!" Alfred sobbed on the floor.

"No, I'm you, too."

"Where are you? Is it me doing this? Is it me? Why do you have my voice? Please stop!" Alfred held his head against the floor before desperately crawling to his closet. He grabbed the closest gun and held it to his own head.

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" Alfred screamed at the top of his lungs as his grasp became tighter.