The Wolf Inside - A Naruto Fanfic - Watty Award Winner 2013

Chapter 64

Ashley's POV

"....I hope she's alright."

"Dashi, dear, you can just ask her when she wakes up."

".....I doubt she would tell me the truth anyway. I know that she doesn't want to disappoint any of us."

"She's your granddaughter Dashi. If you ask for honesty, I'm sure she will tell you."

"Even without your future sight, I'm already aware of the answer anyway.........I'm just worried about her Arelle."

"....I know dear, I know."

I release a low sigh and briefly close my eyes, lying on my back as I listen to the quiet voices whispering about me in another room. Arelle and my grandfather had been talking about me for awhile now, wondering why I had suddenly turned up at the temple last night and asked to stay over, when I had been so adamant about living away from it.

Grandfather was delighted to have me stay of course, though I had been able to see the curious look in his eyes, as clear as day.

I didn't know what to tell him though. I still don't. After the argument with Saffire, I just couldn't bring myself to go home and face Kiyumi. I knew she'd have questions to ask me, and I just didn't have it in me to answer them.

Ace had said it all for me really. He had admittedly been quite cruel in the way he said things, but I hadn't scolded him for it. I didn't even feel bad that he'd said it.

I feel guilty for thinking it, but the fact that those words had finally been said out loud had felt like a huge relief to me. I hadn't said them, but they'd been said. And the impact of those words had been felt.

I'd heard my sister start crying as I walked away, but I had been so angry with what Saffire had said to me, that in that moment, I didn't care that Kiyu was crying.

That makes me feel guilty too. I've never turned my back on my sister when she's cried before. It felt wrong.

But at the same time, I hadn't felt the I would be able to comfort her. I'm almost out of comforting words. I can feel frustration bubbling up inside me slowly, and I struggle more and more every day to even pretend like I'm happy here.

I know the others can see it, and I do feel bad for being so miserable around them all the time, but I don't seem to have much control of it anymore.

I reach up and place my hands over my face, groaning quietly.

Why can't I just be happy? I'm in my homeland, with my Clan again. Something that is so incredible, I'd never given myself the hope to even imagine such a thing could happen. After all of the pain of losing my family and being Orochimaru's prisoner for almost 6 years, I should be overjoyed with my current situation. Anyone normal would be. So why is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of happiness.........their faces?

It should be the faces of Kiyu, and my grandfather and the other Minami, but it's not....

Dropping my hands from my face, I open my eyes and sit up, staring at the door of my room, which is slightly ajar.

I hope my grandfather doesn't ask me anything. If he asks me any questions relating to my happiness right now, it may just open the flood gates. And he really doesn't deserve to hear how selfish and ungrateful I am.

"....Milady" Ace addresses me, his voice causing me to jump. He had been so quiet, I'd forgotten he was there.