ROSE

47. Dizzy

♡

"Should we go to the party now?" I said just to keep the atmosphere not awkward. We were both laying down looking at the sky. The rain finally stopped but the grounds were wet. We both didn't really care, after all, we were already wet.

"It's too early. We will go later." He said. I wasn't even trying to leave for the party. I just wanted him to talk. He was just laying down looking at the sky, so quietly. I really wanted to know what he was thinking about.

I had a lot to tell him though. I wanted to tell him about Lindsay. I wanted to tell him about the messages I got. I wanted to tell him about Noah and how I have no feelings for him and how hanging out with him meant nothing to me at all. I wanted to tell him how these few days made me see just how much he meant to me. How much I knew that I'm happier with his company. How these few last days were horrible and I was really not myself. But I said nothing. I don't know why. Nothing would change anything between us anyways. After all, we were already fine together.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked. He turned his head to look at me then sat up. I followed him, not sure what was going on. "Is something wrong?" I added.

The silence was making me uncomfortable and scared. I wasn't sure what was wrong and only that gave me anxiety. Anthony is never so silent.

"My dad is coming out soon." He finally said. I frowned.

"Is that...good or bad?"

"I don't know." He looked at me, pushing his hair to the back and sliding his fingers through them. His hair looked so soft.

"You should be happy. He will finally get out and live with you!" I feel like we've had this conversation before so many times about him fearing his father's company again.

"You're right," he nodded. "I should be happy, I know."

"You're scared, I know."

"Not scared just...I feel like I won't be used to his company. Also, it's going to be a huge responsibility to take care of him and actually make sure he doesn't get back to drugs." He looked at me. "He did it before anyways."

"I don't think he will do it again, Anthony. We talked about this before." I said. I placed a hand on his shoulder and rubbed it.

"Last time when we talked about this, it was all just news to me from the doctors that he is going to be ready to get out. Now, they are telling me that he could get out anytime!" He explained.

"Did they tell you when exactly?"

"Yes." He looked at me with scared and stressed eyes. "Sunday."

"This Sunday?" I surprisedly asked. He nodded and looked away. "That's great!"

He looked at me for a few seconds then laid on my shoulder. He looked so vulnerable and it was making my heart melt.

"Anyways," he started after a few minutes of silence between us, with him laying on my shoulder with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes and got up. "Let's go."

Since it was getting too serious, he chose to just let go of the whole topic and change it by telling us to go to the party. We were late anyway and I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay on the hill with him but I didn't say anything.

"You know," his voice was the only thing head in the car, with the windows all rolled up. "These past days were awful."

My heart swelled at what he said and I tried to hide my smile but failed miserably. I nodded, looked down at my hands and mumbled "they were for me too."