stray kids one shots

smile °•° chan

s m i l e

trigger warning: depression

in which ________ is depressed but chan is with her all the way

requested by: Sweetpanda666

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it's been 3 years, chan thought.

3 years since her parents died.

3 years since she has been living alone.

3 years since she had depression.

________ wonders everyday as to why chan has not left her yet. she's worthless and a burden, and she just wants to live her life quietly until her time comes.

all her life, she has always seen gray. neither black nor white, but just in between. just average and boring. to put in other words, a lifeless life.

she has always tried to avoid people as much as possible as she thinks that it's pointless to accept them when they'll just leave later on. the ones who she considered as her friends left. her own parents took their own lives because they have a stupid and ugly daughter like her. her neighbors who barely know her can't even look at her in the eye. that's how much of a waste of space she is that whether it's a love one or a stranger, she is hated.

"________," it was early morning, and chan and ________ were in their usual spot. they took a hike that they did every morning, and sat on top of a small mountain, admiring the sun that was still asleep. "what are you thinking?"

before ________ could even open her mouth, her best friend already beat her to it. "your parents loved you, ________. they still love you until now, and they will love you forever."

"if they did love me, why do they keep appearing in my nightmares saying that they despise me? they're giving me signals and i shouldn't turn a blind eye to that." ________ spoke her thoughts out loud by accident. when she realized, her hands immediately flew up to cover her mouth.

stop. burdening. chan.

he's the only one you have.

stop. making. him. worry.

"it's not your parents talking, ________. it's the demons who are whispering. stop listening to them." for the past 3 years, chan has repeated the same line over a billion times now. he's surprised that he hasn't grown tired of it yet.

but then again, this is ________ we're talking about. he will never get tired of her, and he made it his lifelong mission to save his diamond in the rough no matter what it takes.

it was quiet for a moment. slowly but surely, the sun rose. the black sky turned a beautiful orange, and eventually, you could see hints of blue.

it was almost breakfast time, and before going to their destination, chan and ________ only drank a cup of milk. ________'s stomach was already grumbling, and she didn't have to say anthing for chan to sense it. he took out something from his small backpack, and handed his best friend a turkey sandwich, her favorite sandwich.

________ only held onto it. "why do you waste your time on me?" she looked up to the boy beside him.

chan didn't say anything at first and just urged the girl beside him to eat. after every time she took a bite, he instantly wipes the corners of her mouth with his finger. 

"every second i spend with you is worth it,"

"every minute i'm with you, my heart's content,"

"every hour with you is my favorite." he made sure that every word he uttered will leave a permanent stamp in ________'s brain.

when she's done with her sandwich, ________ glanced at chan while he wasn't looking and studied his features. ________ found it so silly of him when she confessed that she's attracted to blondes, and not a day later she sees chan rocking permed blonde hair. his eyes full of wonder, structured nose and kissable lips could rival the beauty of the morning scenery that is presented before them.

in the corner of his eyes, chan sees ________'s mouth stretching into a small but genuine smile. that made his eyes bulge and jaw drop a little.

he could suffer 1, 3 and maybe 5 years more. he could suffer running all the lands found in earth, and swim all the waters that made up the world. he could suffer all of his life if it means seeing ________'s rare but precious smile.

now if ________ thinks chan's could beat the sunrise in terms of beauty, then hell, chan is sure that ________'s smile alone can bring world peace.

to the requestor, i was a bit worried by how this will turn out because i know that depression is a sensitive topic and i don't think i portrayed it well. i'm really sorry if i didn't write it the way you hoped.
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