aware (peterick)

11

"How did you do that?" I ask Patrick curiously.

Patrick bites his lip and wriggles out from underneath me, shuffling backward until he's some safe distance away, and brings his knees up to his chin. "I healed you," he whispers. "With my blood. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I'm so fucking sorry. I lost control, and I tried to stop, I swear, but I couldn't help myself-"

"We'll work on that," I say. I sit back on my knees, not caring about the blood soaking through my pants. I don't tell him I forgive him. Better to keep quiet than to tell a half lie. "And I know your blood heals. But how did you do that...that other thing?"

"That's the first time I've ever done it," he admits shamefully. "Our blood, it's... I don't know, it just has this druglike effect on humans, I guess. It's a lot stronger if you've been fed from first, though, because it has to work at a faster rate to replenish your blood supply. We have venom in our fangs, too; it builds up while we feed and releases once we've had enough. The venom itself works a bit like a sedative, which is why most people don't scream when they get bitten." Patrick fidgets a little bit, avoiding my gaze. "But the release is extremely pleasurable for us."

The corners of my mouth twitch upward. "Did you just tell me how vampire sex works?"

Patrick flushes and widens his eyes at the floor. "Yeah, pretty much."

"You know, for a new-born, you seem to know a whole lot. A whole lot about sex."

"Oh, I'm well past the age of maturity," Patrick says matter-of-factly. "Sex is one of the first things we're taught about. Obviously we can't reproduce, but it's important to understand pleasure, because it ties in with the feeding process."

Patrick's eyebrows furrow, and I can tell he's reminiscing, re-experiencing those months he'd spent abused. He said his captor couldn't teach him fast enough, and yet he knows all these things, knows how to feed for pleasure. He was taught, and he listened; he was just too afraid to put those lessons into practice. He had been forced to learn the hard way.

Through non-consensual sex. The human and the vampire kind.

"Do vampires feed from each other for pleasure, too?" I ask crudely.

I shouldn't. It's none of my business.

"Yes, but they wouldn't do it out of love. Vampires don't mate, so instead they make relationships through feeing off of humans," Patrick explains, gesturing my neck. "Possessive marks can't heal unless another vampire replaces it; they have to feed until the point of death, but the victim must consume their blood for it to work properly. We share a connection now. You won't feel it unless we're physically intimate, but I'll feel it all the time. I'll be able to feel when you're hurt or unsafe. And when you call I'll know exactly where to find you."

"That's pretty cool," I mumble, letting my fingers linger above the possessive symbol engraved into my skin. In theory, this isn't the first time I've been "possessed." Whatever creature had bitten me a few weeks ago, I had belonged to it.

A few feet away, my cracked phone screen is still flashing with hordes of messages from a worrying Brendon. I buzz him a quick reply: I slipped and fell hanging up the curtains, but I'm ok now.

I can almost hear him sighing through the phone. Why am I not surprised?

He doesn't bother me after that.

"You don't have to sleep with me tonight, if you don't want to," Patrick yawns, looking at me with sad, needy eyes. The sun will be coming up soon. "I understand."

I grin. "Then you'll be pleased to know I haven't changed my mind about that cuddle."

Patrick smiles lopsidedly, his eyelids heavy. "We should probably clean up this mess, first."

"I'll do it," I grimace, pushing myself up from the floor and assessing the damage. He's right. My room's a mess; I've got week-old washing that I should probably burn, bedroom furniture that needs rebuilding and floorboards that need scrubbing with an excessive coating of bleach. I huff.

God, my life is a fucking mess.

"Go ahead and get yourself tucked into bed," I tell Patrick. "This might take a while."

Patrick blushes, gets up from the floor and clambers into bed, crawling under the covers. "I'll be patient."