I watched as his eyes stayed focused, I wasn't exactly sure what on. As he was sort of in his own little world, I took it as the perfect opportunity to study his face once again. As I set my eyes of two big whirlpool blue eyes, I noticed those eyes growing bigger as his pupils dilated and his eyes began to redden. His jaw clenched and he pursed his lips. I gripped my hand over his tightening fists. His breathing was shaky and with one last quiver he started to calm down. His jaw loosened and I removed my hands which has started to calm due to worry. I'm sort of used to it now. These thing happen most days. It’s like this deep thought he gets himself into. It’s never a good one. Sometimes I'm scared he won't come back to me. That his jaw won't unclench and his fists will stay gripped. But again, I'm not one to think about the future, and luckily, this hasn't happened yet. i gently lowered my feet which had been resting on his seat in front of me. A screech found its way to my ears, the sound of the train starting up again. After a few moments, we had reached our stop. I got up and walked to the door, with the sound of his boots dragging themselves off the train. I reached into my bra as I got off. I pulled my lighter from the back pocket of my jeans and reached for his still slightly shaky hand. Slender and long with veins that were clearly noticeable. But they were attractive on him. I cupped his hand around my own with the cigarette resting between my fore and middle finger. My hand shook with his as I held his hand cupped around my cigarette, like it was guarding it from the wind trying to blow it out. I passed it to him first he needed it more than me. Again, another ritual. We proceeded to make our way towards the large set of stairs to lead us out of the subway. As we neared the footpath we began to slowly walk as his arm linked around my waist and we strolled down the streets of New York, going nowhere, maybe we'd explore somewhere new today.
Leg’s spread apart in a v shape, making a spot for me to rest between his knees. my head dropped back into his warm bony chest and his arms snaked around my waist, holding me there. I reached into my large backpack to find a book. There was always at least three in there. I gripped hold of one, quite large in size and impaired along the edges. I brought it up to my face and was met with slow man. A book I had read multiple times, many being times like these. We lay there for a while, I’m not exactly sure for how long but it felt endless. The wind started to pick up and as I looked up I noticed a dark grey cloud that loomed the sky with a promise of rain. He jumped up and extended his pale arm out to pull me up. As I elevated off the ground he looped his arm around my waist and spun me into his chest. A small graze between our lips before we headed towards the subway. On the train ride home we sat in a comfortable silence as we both stared out the window, watching people’s movements as we went by. I often did this. I found it so fascinating the way one walks and gestures and moves. No sound is required, its actually better like that. Just noticing small things they do. You don’t need to know someone for very long to pick up on little things they do, you just have to pay attention to them. Instead of just listening to them whilst your mind is slowly wondering elsewhere, watch them. You’ll notice. The first time I met him, I remember just watching him, and noticing that every time he spoke about himself, he would get nervous and would fidget with his fingers, cracking them, twisting them and pulling at hangnails. I loved that I knew that. That he probably had people he had been friends with for 5 years who had never noticed it. Now I can always tell if he’s anxious. I just look at whether he is fiddling with his fingers. The small things are the things I look at now. Ever since I read a quote by Andy Warhol which said “You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you.” I began to go by this and tried to see the bigger picture, by looking at the things that were not right in front of me or things I had always taken for granted and never really thought about. We were both like that. Him and I. The simplest things made us so happy and the things that brought most people joy, we brushed past us. To be honest, I didn’t really care that so and so are finally getting married and that a new season of the latest teen show has come out. They weren’t important to me. I guess you could say I wasn’t the average 16 year old. I looked at things differently, but I liked the way I saw things. I do things the way I want to do them and I am not easily influenced which meant that peer pressure was never really a problem for me.
Sweet and slow kisses ran up my inner thigh causing my fingers to tremble. Pure bliss. His hands were icy yet when they made contact with my skin, felt like they were burning hot. He cupped my face as his thumb grazed the back of my ear and his fingers ran through my knotted, windswept hair. His lips felt warm and soft, still unaffected by the weather. I peeked out my window to see the sun beginning to set. With a blanket wrapped around the both of us, we waddled outside to sit on the seat on my front porch. Darkness consumed the sky and now the only thing that could be seen were the stars, the few that there were. I can usually stay up for hours but for the first time in months, my eyes began to feel weary. I could feel my body become limp as most of my weight was slumped onto his chest. As my eyes began to close I heard the bats fly past, I opened them quick enough to catch sight of them going into the distance and I drifted into a deep sleep.
