Hopeflight's Diary (Warriors Short Story)

23rd December 2015 (TW: Suicide)

I can't take it anymore.

Everything I've loved has been destroyed. I've relinquished. Everything I've known is gone. And for what cause?

I lost my mate... My kits... And now my only friend, Sycamoretail...

I walk on weary paws to the river and gaze silently at my ragged appearance. I haven't groomed myself in nearly half a moon, and all the other cats in the clan have given up fussing. My eyes are bloodshot and heavy from lack of sleep. I refused to sleep; the nightmares were unbearable.

I have no purpose in life; Starclan have forsaken me.

I pull up a tuft of grass and make a small pile beside the river bed. I grasp my teeth around the fur in my shoulder and pull a clump out. I didn't feel any pain from doing this. The pain ran deeper than anything physical... I lay the clump of fur carefully on top of the pile of grass.

There. If they don't find me, they'll at least know I was here..

I sigh and curl up for a brief moment, hunger grasping at my belly. I hadn't eaten in days.

Both Scarletfall and Toothblade, Sycamoretail's closest friends had tried and failed to get me to eat. Whenever I did, I vomited it up on the grass outside camp.

My ribs were already beginning to show through my thick gray fur.

My tongue was dry yet I didn't lap from the river. I laid my head on my paws and closed my eyes. Why did all this happen?

An almost full moon rose into the sky, and a few dotted stars presented the horizon in a brilliant light.

I open my eyes and look dully at the night sky. I've lost all light now, there is only darkness.

I sat up and prolonged my gaze at my reflection for one last time before jumping into the river. I felt my body sink and my lungs fill. Until... Nothing.