Withering Reality

Final Chapter

5 years later

It's exhausting. Tori opens her eyes and then closes them again, but she can't remember. As if she was missing something—something that has great value in her life. Sometimes she dreams that she's riding a white stallion roaming around a barren field, or sometimes she's holding a small gun strapped around her neck. Strangely, it would calm her. It was only a beautiful dream. Everytime she tries to sleep, or everytime she closes her eyes, were the only times she goes back to those beautiful moments, of greed, of love and of course, of bliss. She had been truly happy. And she thinks it was an effect after she survived from commiting suicide.

It's hard for her to go through consultations. But she couldn't know how it was effective when she doesn't even know what made her attempt suicide. After 5 years, she could only recall her swallowing pills and her breakup with her ex-boyfriend Matt. Nothing beyond those memories was she able to recall, nor can she answer when Art tells her she was too down during their EK escapade. She can't even answer her mother's questions when she made the phone call before the attempt suicide.

She travelled around the world. She went to the museums she wanted to visit. She was temporarily happy. And at the end of the day, she became a curator—something she desperately wanted to do. But she never curated anything related to Philippine history, which she strangely forgot why. She would avoid anything from her favorite, and she didn't know why.

Tori walks down the empty hallway of a concert hall, now instead of sporting sweatshirts and pants, is sporting a ladylike piece, a one piece beige romper. Her fellow curator was sick—who usually gets the concert requests—and she had to fill in temporarily (as she's more of the museum and art exhibits type of a curator). But it's already the 3rd day of her selecting music for the annual festival, and her friend still hasn't gotten better. The more she spends time inside the concert hall, the more she thinks she's failing at organizing the festival.

Tori fishes her phone from her pocket and dials her friend's number. After a few rings she picks up, and she's suddenly greeted by a husky morning sick voice, "Tonge, bakit?"

"May sakit ka parin ba?" Tori asks, putting her clipboard between her left armpit and starts to walk around the concert hall, ordering the people around by gestures. It's three days before the festival, and the stage has to be completed to let the musicians practice.

"Oo. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit eh. Usually gumagaling na ako within a day. Nanggaling narin ako sa doctor." Her friend, Hanna, answers. Her voice gives the gravity of her sickness away and it was, really, grave. She sounded like as if she's born half robot and half frog.

"Sige, pahinga ka nalang. Natawagan ko na naman yung mga magpeperform na singers na sinuggest mo. Ang problema ko, hindi ko pa namemeet yung may-ari ng concert hall." Tori sighs. "Kailangan ko sabihin na nag-iba yung expense kasi yung barrier at additional soundsystem hindi ko nalagay sa journal."

"Talaga? Lagi naman siyang nandyan." Hanna answers back, clearly taken aback. "Hindi siya nawawala diyan sa kanyang hotel and casino. T'saka, sabi nila kamukha daw ni Paulo Avelino kaya hindi mo talaga makakaligtaan."

Tori stills and she suddenly forgets to breathe. "P-P-Paulo Avelino?"

"Oo! Yung gwapong taga-TV. Yung gumanap doon sa isang movie 5 years ago!"

"Ah—Ahhhh." Tori fakes a laugh. She didn't know why she stilled with the mention of a celebrity's name. "Oo, kilala ko. Para namang may kamukha pa siya diba?"

"Ay nako. Ibaba ko na 'to. Nandito na ang lugaw ko na express delivery ng Coco Martin ng buhay ko." Hanna giggles and uickly ends the call. Tori rolls her eyes and responds, "Kadiri ka." before putting her phone away.