Wanting More

Chapter 1

Dec 24, 2017 

Alice

I looked outside the window of the café and admired the exceedingly tall buildings of Manhattan. The skies were clear as day yet somehow, I felt gloomy. I didn't know why. Maybe it was because of him. It had been a while, but he still managed to haunt my thoughts.

I looked around the coffee shop. It was small and cozy, only few people knew this place, including me. When get tired or stressed, which was always, I go to this place and order me coffee.

I looked back to Cassie and Leo. Oh great, they're still not done.

I stared at them, shaking my head in disbelief. I crossed my arms and cleared my throat several times so that they would acknowledge my presence, yet I got nothing.

Finally, I decided to speak.

"You guys are so cute___and gross. Please stop doing that in front of me."

Cassie pulled back and blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry."

Cassie was a longtime friend, so was Leo. They had been in my life since forever. They just recently got together. Cassie told me it started with a drunken night and since then they just instantly developed. I always knew something was up between them, they often had stupid fights and quarrel but they always found a way to make up.

"You're such a drag, Alice. What's wrong with showing to other people how much I love my girlfriend?" Leo asked and raked a hand through his brown hair.

"You were shoving your tongue down her throat. That's what's wrong with it." I said with annoyance in my voice.

Cassie raised her eyebrows. "Why so cranky, Alice?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired."

"Yeah, you always seem in distress lately." He teased, earning him a glare from me.

"Okay, you girls talk. I'm gonna get us drinks." He stood up abruptly and went to the counter.

I looked back at Cassie and noticed that she was staring at me and grinning.

"What?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

She propped her elbows and leaned onto the table. "You finally realize it now, do you?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows at me in an uncomforting manner.

"Realize what?"

"Being single sucks." She drawled, giving emphasis to every word.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend." I countered, not meeting her eyes.

"Oh, you're still mourning about that? Move on." She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.

I just rolled my eyes and didn't bother to reply.

"What's his name again? Glen?"

"Not even close, it's Jake."

She clapped her hands and pointed a finger at me. "Yes, that pig who broke up with you through a text."

"Can we stop talking about him?"

Memories of him suddenly flooded my mind. I looked down as I felt tears in the brims of my eyes. Now even mentioning his name hurts.

I met Jake when I was 22. He was blonde, tall, lean, very handsome. He was so kind, so sweet, such a prince charming.

We were together for 2 years. For that short amount of time, I learned to love him deeply. He was my first at everything. My first love, first boyfriend, first kiss, first sexual experience. When I was with him, I was happy, secured. I felt loved in his arms. We were so good. But as time went by, he started to become bitter. He would stop talking to me for weeks, shouted at me for no reason. He bottled his anger at me and wouldn't consult me about it. Eventually, that anger turned into resentment. Which came the day that I feared, he couldn't be with me anymore.

I was blinded by love. I thought of him as perfect, a person who did no wrong. A kind, compassionate man. But all those features just masked the true him. He was a bastard. A manipulative, bossy jerk who controlled me like I was an obedient puppet, dancing to his commands.

But despite all of that, I still freaking love the freaking jerk. I didn't know why. I guess the stupid part of me always would.

"Don't cry, Alice. He's not worth your tears." Cassie hushed and placed her hand on mine.

"I know it's just..."

"Look at yourself. You look pale, tired, stressed. And you work like what, 10 hours a day?"

"I don-"

"Wait, I have an idea." She interjected, cutting off my statement.

I furrowed my eyebrows on what crap was going to get out of her mouth again.

"Come with us on our trip."

"Oh no, no, no." I shook my head incoherently as I asserted.

"Pleaseee."

"I know your concerned but I don't want to intrude on your trip."

"Okay, let me elaborate and explain this to you. We're going on beach. And what does a beach have?"

I shrugged. "I don't know...Sand?"

She snapped her fingers in front of my face. "No. Wake up, Alice."

"It's hot guys, topless, hot guys."

"So?" I asked, oblivious of where she was going with this.

"Oh my God. I'm practically spoon-feeding you here. Just come with us, please?"

"So___Are you coming or not?"

I smiled at her. "I am."