Before And After

How did it get to this?

Arthur pounded on the table with one hand, flinging the other out wide to flag down a Pepper—any Pepper on duty—except the one sitting across from him, laughing.

Lewis reached across the table, pinching the stem of a half-bitten Bhut Jolokia and wiggling it free of Arthur's sandwich. "What's wrong, Arthur?" he snickered. "Thought you liked a little spice in your life." He popped the rest of the pepper in his mouth.

Arthur wheezed, grabbing his sandwich and dumping the contents. Jamming the bread in his mouth, he reached for his water glass and tried to get in a few gulps between chomping through the slices. As Mrs. Pepper passed, he flung an arm out, beseeching her, sweat running down his face.

Flashing a stern glance at Lewis, Mrs. Pepper wheeled about and hurried for the kitchen. Arthur continued to drain his water glass, now chomping on the ice for relief.

"You know you had it coming." Lewis folded his hands behind his head, leaning back.

Arthur did know. The last prank had escalated things. He'd released a traveling alarm clock into Lewis' room while he slept, programming it with songs Lewis hated. That wouldn't have been so bad, except the alarm clock had been extra nimble and seemed to sense whenever Lewis dived for it. It wound up escaping into the hall and rousing Lewis' three little sisters in a never ending round of "Let It Go" and "Everything Is Awesome."

Even that wasn't terrible, except the alarm clock live-streamed the harrowing chase to Arthur, who then sent the footage of half-awake Lewis stumbling around in his underwear to Vivi.

Arthur absolutely knew he deserved this, but gods it burned! And it would burn on the way out, too. He was in for several hours of misery at this rate. He dearly hoped that once it was over he would still claim it was worth it. At the moment, he wasn't so sure.

A pitcher of milk landed in front of him and he scooped it up without hesitation, pouring it into his scorched mouth. It drenched the front of his shirt and puddled in the seat around him.

"Lewis Pepper," Mrs. Pepper said sternly. "You'll be cleaning up this booth when he's through."

Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur caught sight of Lewis nodding his head, the grin still plastered on his face. He didn't seem to care.

Jerk.

But the thought came with a playful bite to it. As the milk took the worst of the edge off his pain, gears in Arthur's head were already turning. Churning for ways to up the ante, really catch Lewis off guard and turn the tables.

Once Mrs. Pepper had left, Lewis leaned over and picked up his phone from the table. "That's some footage, Artie. You might even go viral. If I get to a million views, I'll make you another sandwich to say thanks. How 'bout it?"

Ohhhhhh it's so on.

Arthur spewed a mouthful of milk at Lewis, tearing out of the booth and running for the door.

He barely made it to the sidewalk before Lewis wrapped giant arms around him, crooking his neck in a headlock. "Come on, I got you. Now say uncle."

"Unnnk!"

"That's not saying uncle."

"Ca't say et, mah tong too beg."

"Oh. Guess that would make it hard." Lewis released him, still grinning. "Still, that counts."

Arthur stuck his tongue out, prodding the swollen thing gently. Crying "uncle" meant there was a 24-hour ceasefire on pranks, giving both sides time to recuperate and prepare. This streak had been going on for two weeks, the longest one yet. Arthur hoped he'd be able to come up with something really good soon. He wasn't about to play second fiddle to anyone, not even his best friend.