Every moment of happiness is paid in return with a series of unfortunate events. Sadly, Jinyoung is aware of how he was graced by multiple moments of joy and now he is on his way to repay that debt. He knew such a thing would come for him but he didn't expect it to be this soon.
"Happiness is really just an illusion," he mutters before getting some sleep inside the cab he was riding. This might be the only time he can actually rest because once he arrives at his destination, there's no telling when such a time of peace will come again.
Snow kept falling that morning and it saddened Jinyoung to the core knowing he would be away from Daehwi for a while. What made it even worse is that Daehwi is oblivious to the fact that Jinyoung is heading towards a place that haunts his very being. Sending messages or making phone calls wouldn't do any good because the small-headed boy changed his number. No, he isn't abandoning his sugary-sweet relationship with Daehwi. He's just making sure no harm will reach the boy he loves in case something terrible happens to him. Hopefully, nothing bad will happen but things don't go as planned when you live on the bad side of town.
Sleep was the only way to escape Jinyoung thought but the moment he closes his eyes a darker nightmare greets him. A nightmare filled with tears and gave birth to newer fears. Sweating and hyperventilating, Jinyoung woke up from his very short nap. Immediately grasping his phone and typed away a message meant for Daehwi, his only remedy, but he suddenly halts and sighs.
I can't let him get involved. He deletes the message and directs his attention somewhere else. Spacious and vibrant streets to daunting and dark alleyways, how terrible it must be to live in this part of town. Finally, Jinyoung was home.
The cab stopped in front of an apartment complex, different from one he lived in when he was young. Compared to his old apartment, this one was much bigger and well-lit. He paid the driver and got off, staring high up at the building in front of him. What shocking news will surprise him this time?
He stops in front of apartment 308 and knocks. His left hand was shaking as he tried to tighten his grip on his bag. There was no answer which frustrated him more than it worried him. He drops his bag and reaches into his left coat pocket to get his phone. As he was searching his call history, the door opened as a boy who was older than Jinyoung peeped out the small opening.
"You're here," the tall figure says silently before widely opening the door. Both boys look at each other for a brief moment before Jinyoung took his bag again and walked inside. The sound of the door shutting echoed in the dark and empty hallway, sounding another agonizing chapter of Jinyoung's life.
The apartment was smaller than he thought it would be. Twice the size of the one he was staying at, but half the size of their family's old one. The walls had pictures of their family, his father, mother, him and his brother. For Jinyoung, it was strange to see all of that because it's been a few years since his family actually got together, and that last meeting was neither happy nor peaceful. Those are times that he does not wish to look back on but sadly photos speak a thousand words yet the most important one hides behind the camera.
"So where is she?" Jinyoung asks the guy who was with him in that dusty apartment. "She kept calling the other night so I thought she would be here to see me."
"Well," Donghyun rubbed the back of his neck as he sadly looks at Jinyoung. "Take a seat and I'll tell you everything."
The room made Jinyoung feel tensed, making him sweat despite the winter cold. He sat down on the couch and so does Donghyun. With the better lighting, Jinyoung saw it. He saw, in the eyes of Donghyun, the suffering he had been through and is still going through.
"I can't believe this is happening to me again," Donghyun begins with a sigh. A tear once again slides down his cheek, just like before Jinyoung came.
"Tell me, hyung," Jinyoung pleas because he could feel his heart beat faster and like the walls of the room were moving in.
"Thank you for still acknowledging me as your brother, but I don't think you'll be able to forgive me this time."
"You still can't contact him?" Jihoon raised his voice a bit but Woojin placed a hand on his shoulder, calming the boy who quickly apologized for his sudden outburst. "I'm sorry Daehwi, but isn't this too much?"
"Maybe," Daehwi says softly as he cups his hands around his mug. Jinyoung's hand is warmer, he thought to himself. "But I guess he just wants to be alone."
"You and him were all lovey lovey just the other day but the next day he disappears and doesn't show up for days. He didn't even go to school the entire week. Doesn't that seem too much? If he wants solitude then he should at least tell us — well you since you're obliviously the most worried one here." Jihoon frustratedly rants before sighing deeply and looking out the window of the cafe. "It's the season to be jolly but all we're doing is worrying," he mutters loud enough for the other two to hear.
Woojin smiles weakly at the boy who was throwing a tantrum. He rubs his hand on the boy's back before looking over at Daehwi who sat opposite of him. "Jihoon's really worried about Jinyoung so I apologize if he's acting this way. He hasn't slept well the past few days because of our friend's sudden disappearance." He explains with a mellow voice.
"I understand how he feels, but..." Daehwi couldn't let the words out. Words that he had been holding back because he didn't want to seem weak. "My he-heart hurts everytime I think about how I'll never see him again. It hurts," By now he was in tears and his hand was balled into a fist, gently hitting the area on his chest where his heart is.
The two boys head over to their friend, stopping his hand and hushing him. It breaks Jihoon's and Woojin's hearts, even more, to see how much Daehwi was suffering. The boy who smiled and radiated joy was now a mess, a mix of sadness and pain. What used to be yellow has become gray due to the absence of his pigment, his other half, his own saving grace.
"If there is a God listening, please bring Jinyoung back!" Daehwi exclaims loudly on Jihoon's chest as his two friends tried to calm him down. People in the cafe watched the trio but they were in their own little world of agony. A world that has been spun into chaos and oppression the moment Jinyoung disappeared.
Jinyoung thought that he would just be forgotten, just another faded memory, but he has yet to know how much of an effect he has. If only he knew of their suffering, then maybe he would rush home into their arms but sometimes suffering becomes necessary.
YOU ARE READING
Iridescent; Jinhwi
Fanfiction"The outcome of realization can be the birth of regret and pain that I do not wish to experience because I do not want to think of you and be reminded of something sad."
