Horror

Sex, Drugs, and Immortality

I suppose my story starts in a bar. Very original, I know, but here we are. My friends and I are what I like to call Drinkers. By the way, I hate the word vampire. It makes people think of Nosferatu and Twilight and Anne Rice and it isn't really like that at all. We're not ugly, we don't sparkle, we're not gays - well some of us are, but not me, and we can't shape shift into fucking bats. We party and we can't get hangovers because we can't have straight liquor. I mean, I've been in the party scene since the twenties. We're just normal people who happen to require additional sustenance.

Anyway, my friends and I have this little pub we frequent because buying people drinks beforehand really helps with the "extraction" process. It's sort of like getting a girl liquored up before trying to get in her pants. Everybody is calm and relaxed. They don't frighten as easily which is great because scared blood tastes like battery acid. Also you can just leave them in an alley and as long as they're still breathing no one bats an eye. Besides, there's this nice little after effect of drunk girl and that is drunk me.

After decades of not being intoxicated, finding that little tidbit out was a fucking delight. It's like a best friend coming back from the dead Lazarus style. God, it was good. Naturally, I told my friends and we started hunting together at seedy little bars.

Which is what brings us to last night.

“Let me buy you another drink.” I grinned a toothy smile, shouldering up to the pretty blonde at the bar. “And something stronger than that.” I motioned to the bartender with two fingers outstretched and a nod.

“I didn’t say yes,” she mumbled coyly, darting her eyes at me.

“You didn’t have to. Your smile said it from across the room.” I paused for a moment, examining her and then outstretched my hand. “Bernard.”

She took it quickly and shook it, replying “Darby,” with a smile.

Two glasses of whiskey clinked on the bar top in front of us. I picked up my glass and held it to Darby. “To new friends.”

She obliged, clinked glasses, and took a large gulp of the amber liquid I bought. As I watched her, I held the glass to my lips and pretended to sip. There was no way I was going to get sick before sinking my teeth into this piece. I eyed my friends over my shoulder, inviting them to join us.

As Darby lowered her glass to the bar, she saw my friends approaching and grinned. "Apparently a lot of new friends," she said. "I didn't think it was that kind of party."

Leon's eyes widened as he nodded to me. Happy hunting; Darby was going to be fun.

"Are you here all alone?" Connor asked. While this was one of the things we always asked before extraction, I think this time he was asking if she had any friends for him.

"Jeez, way to descend like a bunch of wolves," Vixie shouted, slapping Connor playfully. "Let her have a drink in peace." Vixie's presence was almost as relaxing as the booze to these targets.

Do you know anything about lions? I always thought we hunted like a pack of lions. Vixie subdued them, Connor flattered them, and Leon and I attacked from both sides. An attack on all fronts, physical and psychological. We were gods.

"The faster I finish this drink," she placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "the faster we can get out of here."

'Too easy', I thought. 'I might even bed this one.'

As we walked out into the street, Connor, Leon, and Vixie were already moving to the next bar. Darby and I ducked into an alley, as was customary for me sealing the deal. The night was young and I usually fed first. That's just how my group worked.