THE HUMAN IMMUNODEFICIENCY VIRUS CURSE (Abridged of Blood Moon Curse)

Ch 1: "The Gay"

NIK's POV:

I shot my a** down the stairs, bumping my head, just like the day I was born, and outside. "BYE MOTHER!" I yelled back. "Who the f- oh right my kid ... Yeah see ya." I climbed in the awaiting carriage, praying to god I would avoid a concussion from the ride. Just as the carriage began to move, I heard yelling behind us. "ASK YOUR FATHER WHERE MY DA*N MONEY AT!" "OK MOTHER!"

    I gazed out into the distance fields. This time of year was usually fight club season. I breathed in the sweet scent of rotting corpses and cow sh*t. I looked out the front window, like a prisoner in the back of a transport truck, at the driver.

"So what's the camp like?" I said

"WHAT THE FUUUU----" screamed the driver, as we nearly swerved into a ditch. "Oh hello ... Fellow human being ... Uh yes camp good" The driver turned towards me. He was a rookie with a terrible lazy eye, and drool leaking from his mouth.

"Nice to meet you! I'm NIK! What's your name?" "I'm Rott" Wait. Rott ... Ro... Ss.. Ross. Oh no. The fire. The explosions. Gunshots. No. No. No. Barney no! Sky no!

     I woke up on the floor of the carriage, I had ripped out all the carpeting and drapes. Whoops. Rott turned "You ok?" "Uh, yeah, yeah just some .... MEMORIES" "Oh Ok."

"Oh yeah, btw Nik, at this like camp or something, there's a big uh mosquiter running around." Rott said. "Wait what?" "Vampires, we call em mosquitos, cus-" "Because they drink blood?" I interrupted. "Well, I was gonna say cus they carry several diseases and std's but yeah that works too."

"Isn't it our job to catch them quickly?" I said. "Yeah but uh not this skeeter" "Why?" "Well when people see em', they catcha glimpse of a rose." "He's using that as some kind uh' tracking device" said Rott. "Lol how do they find people with a flower?" "The Gay" "Wait what?" I asked. "Look, this place is 99 percent male, and if you see a fricken rose and disappear, the priests say that you have been affected with "The Gay" and we burn you at the stake". "Oh .... Okkkkk"

       We arrived at the boot camp looking dump of a base, with people in different Salvation Army looking clothes. "Lez go see yo baby daddy" said Rott, leading me through the crowds of testosterone and body odor.

"Dad!" I yelled

"Who the fu- OH HEY uh ... Yoooouuuu"

      "Thanks Ross for bringing him here. Oh no, I must dissapear immediately after not seeing my offspring for 6 months. Now I need you to immediately become his baby sitter which is a giant weight to put on a trainee and will probably lead to some rather giant consequences that you will be most likely blamed for." "Yes, Sir." said Rott.

"BYE DAD." "Uh yeah ... See you ... In 6 months."

"Let's go to my bachelor pad." said Rott.
 

       We soon approached a big white tent, covered in numerous stains. In big, illiterate letters was written "ROTT". "Welcome to the pad, there's two other dudes here, they should be around somewhere."
         We walked in to two guys sitting on a bed 5 feet apart cus they're not gay, talking about some bs. "This is Mart and Term." "OH DEAR GOD A GINGER DON'T EAT MY SOUL--- Oh I'm sorry I mean HIIIII" I yelled. "
Who dis." said Term. "His name NIK"

The souleat- I mean Mart spoke up. "I'M NOT SHARING OUR WEED WITH THIS BABY D*CK"  "STFU Mart, he ain't gonna take yo weed, look at him" said Term.
       Then Mart replied, seemingly forgetting what just transpired. "Yo we got patrol today though." Rott's eyes finally both synchronized, and his pupuls dilated till his eyes were nearly black soulless orbs. "Ohhhhhh Shhhhhhhh*****ttt" Then Term looked through me with a murderous look. "NIK, you're not afraid of the dark, are you?" "Um no, creepy older person" "Well, are you afraid of STD'S!" He laughed loudly in the dim light. "What are Es Tee Dees?" I asked. "We're screwed Rott, he don't even know what STD'S is!" Mart said. 
Rott spoke up. "Guys you're being to dramatic, STD'S ain't so bad! Look at Ted!" Term replied. "Ted's dead Rott." "Oh. Right."
        I prepped to go into the dark woods, with people I just met, and an extremely foreshadowed sense of doom. And STD'S. As Rott wrapped me in bubble wrap and attached machine guns to me, Mart informed me of STD's. I still don't know what he means by "Sex" but that's ok. I will be fine, and destroy the Vampires!

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Once again, this is and abridged chapter of Blood Moon Curse by Dragon_Fury_Girl this is meant to be funny and I'm not trying to make anyone look bad but myself. Purely for comedy. I also wrote this at 1 am, so enjoy lol.