Moon Bound (Forgotten Series, #5)

Chapter Fourteen

I hadn't been able to sleep. I had slept in bed with Lynn since we had been mated and I had not had a very good night with the supplied cot the Head Priestess had shown me, without her. She had barred me from retrieving Lynn, telling me that she needed space. My heart hurt for her, for our lost futures. So much had been taken from her and I felt a deep hate for our goddess for what she did. To do that was... I didn't have words for it.

I could see how it devastated Lynn, the utter denial of the realization was enough. She had reacted aggressively towards the loss of her magic but the reaction she had to the loss of her ability to have children was far beyond that. I wasn't going to lie, the thought of never producing an heir with her was a painful one, as was the thought of losing my Alpha Claim and status but my female had been hurt, her body changed without her permission and she was in pain because of it. I could lose my position a thousand times over if it would have saved her that devastation.

I had forced myself to stay where Ambris had told me. I had denied the mate bond, refused to allow it to sway me with the feelings that Lynn had. I had tried hard to sleep before I just ended up pacing back and forth, my wolf testing me to try and take control. He wanted to make sure our female was okay and in our sights. He wanted to comfort her, protect her from the world around her while she was so vulnerable but I had denied him because I was told she needed space, time away.

However, I was now at the edge of my control and I needed to see her to make sure she okay and well. Ambris had told me she had gone to the bar, to where all the broken people went. I just hoped she had stayed there and hadn't wandered off. I don't think I could have handled losing her and the panic of trying to find her on top of everything else.

I ran my hand through my hair as I forced myself to take slow steps through the temple, doing my best to ignore my leg. I wanted to give Lynn what she needed because I knew when I got her back there would be very little chance for her to have time away from me again. I was a needful and possessive creature. I wasn't going to lie. Amanda had died and it had broken something deep inside me. I couldn't let Lynn go because of it. I would force myself to give her this time away because I doubted I would be able to later. I needed her close and I needed her safe. That was all I knew, all my wolf needed, and all my instincts drove me to do.

The morning light was trailing into the temple and I stepped out, wincing at the brightness of the sun coming over the tree tops. I shoved my hands into my pockets and moved down the stairs, wincing as my leg leg threatened to buckle underneath me. Whatever her father had done to my leg was starting to wear off. For a moment he had made it feel stronger and more capable but now it was back to being weak. Not only was it a testament to losing Amanda but now it stood from the loss of my position and my Claim. That burned me and my wolf right down to our core.

We had wanted to deny it over and over again. We had been born for the position and we would fulfill it but no one told the goddess no. If the Head Priestess had said that I was never going to be an Alpha then it was the truth of it. My leg would never stand up to the test of the position. There was a part of me that felt like I had already understood that but I had shoved it away, denied its existence. Now I couldn't because it was front and center. Mene had needed to take something away in order for the gift to be given. My Claim and title for Lynn and for Lynn's life, her fertility.

My wolf whimpered at that, his need to comfort his female over her loss was grating over his instincts. I stared at the ground as I walked. I wanted to comfort her as well, to hold her close and tell her it would be okay but I knew it wouldn't. How could one just accept and move on from something so life altering? I was beginning to understand the very issue Lynn had. Her life had been tossed upside down and changed drastically and she had to simply accept that. I didn't know if I could in her shoes.