Don't Fall

if you ignore it, it'll hurt less

"Leave me alone!" I screamed as I ran away from John and his crew, minus Phil. He had already walked home, or so I thought.
"Get back here, bitch!" John screeched.
I ran and ran until I got to a fence. Shit. How the fuck am I supposed to get away now? I'm not very strong. The most exercise I do is when I'm running from these assholes.
"Ha, look at you. Pathetic!" He seethed and threw a huge rock right at my stomach. I withered in pain. They happily took the opportunity while it was there and gathered around me, kicking me and shouting insults.
"I can't believe you tried to kiss Phil, you fag." One of them had said. But that's not true! Phil brought our faces closer, I didn't do anything.
It was high tide in the sea of agony and I was standing at the shore, ready to let my body drift away and eventually sink to the bottom. More than ten minutes passed, but it felt like an eternity to me, before they decided to stop. When they were long out of sight, I let the tears fall. Now it was high tide in the sea of emotion and that sea was in my eyes. I tried to get up, but my body was hurting too much to move.
"Help me!" I sobbed out.
"Kill me." I whispered.
I heard footsteps and suddenly regained control of my limbs. I scrambled to the fence and curled up into a ball, thinking that would save me.
"Please don't hurt me." I whimpered.
"Oh my god!" The voice gasped.
It was Phil, of course.
He came closer to me and I scooted impossibly closer to the fence.
"Please!" I screamed.
"Dan! Dan, calm down. It's me, Phil."
I peeked my head up from my arms for one second and hid it again.
"Please, Phil." I cried.
He came even closer.
"I'm not gonna hurt you." He said.
"I promise." He added.
I finally gave in and let him pick me up, passing out from the pain.
                         .•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
"Dan? Are you awake?" A voice called out.
My eyes fluttered open and settled on surroundings that used to be familiar.
"P-phil?" I stuttered and blindly grabbed out for him.
My hands were met with his and interlocked with them. If this had been any other situation, I would have tried with all my being not to be alone with Phil and definitely never touch him, but he had found me and was my only hope then, so I complied. I looked around at what I assumed was his room, it was just as I remembered it, but it had a new paint job.
"What happened?" I asked rubbing my stomach because of the pain.
"Those fuckers almost killed you." Phil stated with a raw look of anger on his face. I was genuinely surprised, I had never seen Phil this upset.
"Why do you care? I thought those fuckers were your friends." I replied pulling my hand away from Phil's and refraining from meeting his gaze.
"Dan..I still care about you." Phil said and I heard his tone turn from angry to melancholy.
"No you don't! You just look on as I get hurt or you just pretend I'm not there. You already know what I get at home! Why would you let them do that to me!? Why, Phil why?" I started crying and screaming. I am so done with life.
Phil hugged me and I rested my head on his chest and let the tears fall.
"If I pretend it's not there, it'll hurt less." Phil whispered into my hair and nostalgia rushed through my veins.
                F.•L.•A.•S.•H.•B.•A.•C.•K

"Phil!" I called from my spot in the grass.
"Yeah?" He answered from his spot in his treehouse.
"I'm on my way up." I started to climb up and once I got there, I sat next to Phil, our shoulders brushing against each other. We let our feet dangle off the side.
"Hey." Phil greeted me.
"Hi." I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed.
"What's wrong?" Phil asked with a genuine look of concern washed over his usual calm expression.
"I have to tell you something." I picked my head up and faced him, bringing my legs fully inside the treehouse and crossing them, Phil doing the same.
He nodded signaling me to continue, but not without gulping his fear first.
"Um, s-so you know how people have families, right?" I asked unsteadily.
Phil giggled and nodded, causing me to frown.
"Sorry, continue." Phil cleared his throat and apologized.
"Ok, well a family is supposed to love and accept you. That's what your family does Phil, but mine doesn't. They hate me. My mom used to love me, but I don't think she has the strength to even do that anymore. My dad-." I was interrupted by tears falling down my face. Phil's face saddened as he wiped away my tears.
"H-he hates me most of all. I never did anything to him. He always hits me. I think if he had the chance he would kill me. I'm scared Phil, I'm so scared and no one cares. This could be the last time I see you and-" I was interrupted yet again but this time it was a pleasant interruption. Phil brought me closer to his chest and let me lie there and sob.
"I'm so sorry, Dan," he pulled me off of his chest to make me look at him, "you don't deserve that. I care about you a lot. I lo- I mean, you're my best friend and you will always be. You deserve the world. You're such a great person and I wish everyone could see that. Just know that I see it and will never forget it. You make me happy and I will do the same to you, until the day I die." Phil confessed springing more tears into my eyes, but these tears were happy.
I pulled him in for a tight hug and cried again.
"Thank you, Phil. Thank you so much."
Phil sadly smiled as I pulled away.
"If you pretend your dad's not there, it will hurt less, but you can't ignore it forever." Phil told me.
I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me as we watched the sun set and that was the first and last time I ever felt at home.
                               •.•.•.•.•.•.•
"But you can't ignore it forever." I finished before he could.
Phil looked at me with something I can only describe as disbelief.
"You remember?" Phil's voice cracked and eyes glossed.
"Of course I remember that was the best moment of my life." I stated resting my hands on Phil's thighs.
"I sometimes wish we could go back to those times. When it was just me and you. Why'd we stop?" Phil spoke my thoughts as his tears rolled down his face and broke my heart.
"Please don't cry. I never wanted to stop, but...you changed, drastically. I suddenly became not good enough and you suddenly became too good." I said sadly and wiped Phil's tears.
"I'm sorr-" He was stopped by me pressing my finger to his pink lips.
"Save it because as soon as we get back to school tomorrow, you're going to act the same way." I snapped.
Phil tried to protest, but he knew it was the truth. We sat in heavy silence for a few moments before Phil broke it.
"You got hurt pretty badly, I don't want to dying on me so you're not going home just to get hurt again. You're sleeping here tonight." Phil said.
I just nodded. I was fine with it really, the only thing wrong is how I feel my heart beat fast at the idea of being in the same bed as Phil Lester.
Geez I'm helpless.