BEAU (original version)| ✓

43

• CHAPTER FORTY-THREE •
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Eliot drove Marc and I home.

I could tell he wasn't impressed by our humble abode and later suggested he take us to his house to stay the week. It was something my brother and I needed, just to hit pause on the present and set some other priorities. I told Kendra about our journey, though I had seen disappointment in her eyes, all she wanted for me was to find happiness. I was glad about that.

The things my father owned were expensive. It was obvious he didn't have limits when it came to laying down cash. When I was five years old, I hadn't enjoyed his wealth whereas mom might have had the chance to experience a more lavish lifestyle. Most children didn't have the capacity to understand money as Eliot had it rolling in every week, but after the life I've had for twelve years, it's easy to develop a newfound appreciation for it. And Eliot certainly didn't hold back.

We arrived at his house – my childhood home – in the middle of the night and after a day spent within its walls, I started debating going back home. Sure, there was Kendra waiting for my return, but I really didn't want to lose what I had just found.

My father and my home.

If I walked away now, who knew when I'd be getting either of them back again?

And so, an afternoon passed and once more, I'm in the present.

While Marc tails Eliot and has his own fun exploring the house, I lie in bed in one of the guest bedrooms. Eliot hadn't touched my old room since mom and I left. I've outgrown most of my belongings including the race car bed, but it's memorabilia. It's also comforting to know that there are still traces of my previous life thriving in this home and my father's heart.

Clutching my phone tightly, I consider calling Kendra. Being here implies a decision I have to make. Do I go or do I stay? Do I give up on our love or can I nurture it from this distance? Those are things I have yet to ask my girlfriend, and I fear what her answer might be.

I call her number and bring the phone to my ear, listening to the sound of the dial tone. I breathe in and out, rearranging my thoughts so they make sense, then think of the things I should tell her. I love you and I want to be with you, but is it still possible? I hope she's willing to make it possible. I can't lose again – I won't lose someone I love.

"Hello?"

Her meek voice shatters my silence. "Hey, Kendra. It's me."

"Beau, I miss you," she says, and I pick up on the sound of her soft breathing. "It's only been two days but...I wish you'd come home."

"I know, Ken. I wanna be there with you, but we're staying for the next week or so. I won't be back till maybe after New Year. Think you can wait it out a little longer?"

"For you, yeah. I just want you to be happy, that's all."

There's nothing she hasn't done to make me feel otherwise. That's why no matter how selfish I feel for keeping her here, I can never let her go. You love something and you set it free right? Not Kendra. If I don't have her, I have nothing.

Rolling onto my back, I gape at the ceiling. The bedspread if cool and crisp under my body, the room temperature is warm, warmer than I've ever experienced in our other house, and truthfully, it's soothing.

"How's Marc? How are things with your dad?" she asks.

"Good, actually. It's been such a long time, so things are kind of awkward," I let a smile curl my lips. "But we're getting there. At least Marc likes him."