𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 ( 𝘫𝘰𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘺 )

18 | "goodbye"

IMESSAGE
rio😋
joe

joe
did i do something wrong?

rio😋
what? no, of course not!
why would you think that?

joe
because you've barely talked
to me this past week

rio😋
you didn't do anything i promise

joe
well something must have
happened. what was it?

rio😋
my boyfriend (who's not really
even my boyfriend) basically told
me to stop being friends with you
and i listened because i thought it
was the best thing to do, but now
i'm not so sure
DELETED
it's complicated

joe
"it's complicated"?

rio😋
yeah. i'm really sorry.
listen um could we talk?
in person??

joe
ok sure. i'll be at your
place in ten minutes

———

REAL LIFE

rosario sat on her bed contemplating what she was gonna say to joe; she knew what she wanted to say she just didn't know how to say it.

the knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts and she went to open it immediately being met with the sight of her friend; or whatever he was now since those five days had passed.

"hey, come in," rosie greeted joe with a small smile.

an awkward silence began to linger between the pair as joe settled himself on her couch and rosie sat beside him.

"ugh, this is weird," rosario blurted out, adding a sigh to the end of her statement. 

joe chuckled a bit and nodded in agreement. "yeah, this honestly is." he turned toward the girl. "so, what did you wanna talk about? perhaps the reason why you haven't been talking to me for the past few days?"

rosie turned in his direction, meeting his eyes. "look, i really am sorry about that."

"it's okay, rio. i just wanna why; what happened? you know, if it was something i did i wanna make sure that i don't do it again," joe explained to her.

"joe, i can promise you that it was not something you did. the reason why i've been kinda distancing myself from you is because...aaron wanted me to."

she took a pause, observing joe's now bewildered face for a moment before continuing. "but it's not for the reason that you're probably thinking. the truth is, me and him have been fake dating for the past two years."

joe's face contorted into something that was even more confused as he stuttered out a response. "oh, wow."

"and the reason why we've been doing this is because– i don't even really know if it's my place to say, but i guess when aaron asked me to do this two years ago his secret kinda became mine. but anyway, we've been fake dating because aaron is gay and he's using our relationship as a way to hide it from his very homophobic family."

joe opened his mouth to respond, but rosie stopped him before he could.

"hold on, don't say anything; there's more. and this is the long, and most important, part." she took a breath before speaking again. "for the past two years, this whole fake dating thing has been fine; easy. but then suddenly you showed up and things became not-so-easy. and i truly mean that in the best way possible.

"someone, and by someone i mean frankie, once told me that sometimes my feelings matter more over others and how i never really take the way that i feel into account for things. and it took me a while to realize this, but she's right. a lot of the time i try to do what's good for my friends and forget about doing what's good for me," she was about to continue, but joe interrupted her.

"and what's good for you?" he asked her.

"right now. i really think it's you," she answered him, breaking the eye contact between them and looking down at her lap as her cheeks began to redden.

joe reached over and gave her hand a light squeeze intertwining their fingers, which rosie savored for a moment before pulling away. "but," she began.

joe groaned. "oh, come on. no but's."

rosie let out a small laugh. "but, then i think about how doing what's good for me will deeply affect others and maybe even hurt them. so, then i decide to just push what i want away and go back to doing what's good for others."

"do i count as one of these 'others'?" joe asked.

rosario didn't hesitate one bit. "yes, of course you do."

"ok, well, then let us be together. because i sure as hell think you would be good for me too, rio," he smiled at her.

"joe, you don't understand. i can't stop the fake relationship with aaron, so the only way we could be together is if we hide our relationship like aaron and his boyfriend matty are doing. and i could never, ever ask you to do that," rosie explained to him, trying hard to make him get why they wouldn't be able to work.

joe's response came not a second later. "what if i'm okay with doing that?"

she shook her head at him. "i won't let you. if we're gonna be together i don't want to have to hide it from the rest of the world. and i know you wouldn't either."

"if it means being with you then i don't care!"

for a long moment rosario stared at the guy in front of her; the that guy she really liked. she did want to be with him, no one could tell her that she didn't, but she knew that it would be best for both of them if she let him go instead of dragging him further into her complicated life, so that's exactly what she did.

"i think you should go now," rosie muttered out.

joe furrowed his eyebrows. "what? why would you even ask me to come here then, rio, if you were just gonna tell me that you like me and then push me away. again."

she quickly blinked back the tears that began to rise up. "because you deserved to know the truth about why i haven't been talking to you...and why i'm gonna have to keep doing it," she made her way to her apartment door, opening it for him.

"so, i'm sorry. but, goodbye, joe."