𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 ➙ 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦

one.

ONE
he never makes a promise he cannot keep

TESS

          Time frightened me. It was a simple act of the universe I held no control over, something that slipped by no matter how tightly I held onto the hands of the clock. Perhaps it was a case of aging, the fear of waking up one day and no longer recognizing the flesh staring back at me in the mirror, no longer recognizing myself. In many ways, it was the terror of death, how it inched closer with a click of each second; tick, tick, tick, until one day, time stood still forever. Death visits every day.

          I knew the truth, though, that in years to come, there would be a day when my name was no longer spoken, where my face would no longer be remembered. Above all, I knew there would come a time where everyone I ever loved or touched, or knew the presence of would be gone; it was horror on the heart. A heart like mine, a young soul existing next to it, did not deserve to pine away at the misery that laid on my mind, not at the age I lived in, but somehow, no matter the case or worry, it was there. It always had been. I would live with it until the day everything wilted away.

          In the midst of my fingers rolling over the cloth of my book bag, the thoughts of time were heavy. It had been the very last day of middle school, eighth grade caught up in the swirl, down the drain before I had a moment to truly understand it. The last year before high school began, the thought was heavy on my mind as I sat in the middle of my living room. Even sitting in the room I had found comfort in many times before, it offered me no warmth, no end to the pounding realization that rammed itself through my head. You don't have much longer.

          Books and papers were spread about on the floor, surrounding me, too many to a point where I could no longer see the carpet underneath. There, taking in the mass of school supplies and paperwork I had accumulated over a year's time, I could already feel the burn of time flaming under my feet. A rise in the hot coals that taunted me with the world's clock, testing me, teasing me, fighting me with the fear that I would never shake the worry. How could I escape the doom of time when it never stopped?

          A few months on the calendar and high school would start ticking, four years time and college would begin. A cycle, over and over, it all felt like it was strumming along too quickly. In many ways, my mind was still sewing together the last few years, every lesson and memory I'd been taught. I tried to gather something from each day, something worth learning from; I had always believed in that, but the world was constantly shifting, changing alongside my cranium.

          It all frightened me, the idea of moving into a part of life I wasn't quite sure I was ready for. How messy it all had become, a constantly battle between my mind and the world, a war that would never be over with. I wanted time to understand things better, time to prepare myself, more time spent with my family, with my books, with things I loved, but more often than not, I felt I was being shoved forward over and over, no break in sight.