If You Love Me

Chapter Four

Ezekiel Matthews

I was up extremely early the next day since it was hard for me to sleep thinking about my date with Cassidy tonight. It was just a simple dinner and a movie, but I was just excited to be spending time with her. When she first stepped foot in my class, I noticed her beauty right away, but I saw attractive students all the time, and with my job, I knew never to act on it. Though I was a professor, it seemed most girls didn't care, as I got students trying to shoot their shot at me almost every day, but Cassidy was never like that.

My African American Studies class is centered around discussion and I became more drawn to her from hearing her analysis of our topics in class. She was very intelligent and intuitive and her dedication and determination in the classroom piqued my interest in her even more. When she first asked me to look over her paper for her, I expected to simply read her paper and send her on her way. I didn't expect us to spend 45 minutes sharing conversation and laughing with each other.

After that first initial meeting, we went out for coffee twice more and we spent those times bonding over our love of reading. I learned that among her favorite writers were Nikki Giovani, James Baldwin, and Octavia Spencer and I shared that I also adored their work. We also discussed famous black freedom fighters and I was impressed to find someone so young who knew more about the lives of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X than what the movies and books fed to the world.

That night when I showed up to the club, the last person I expected to see was her and the sight of her alone was enough to intoxicate me. She looked good. When I went to sit next to her, I could see the lust in her eyes and it surprised me because I never thought she was attracted to me. When she got up to go to the bathroom, I tried to restrain myself, but I couldn't help but follow her. I knew I had caught her off guard, but I couldn't help myself. I wondered how her full lips would feel against mine and I just knew at that moment that I had to find out. I expected her to be thrown off, what I didn't expect was to end up in her room.

I know it was foul of me to leave the next morning without saying anything, but I didn't know what else to do. I knew I crossed all kinds of lines, but that wasn't even what scared me. What scared me was the fact that I didn't regret it! I felt strongly that if I had the opportunity to be in her again, I wouldn't hesitate to do so and it was because of that that I knew I had to get away. Though we had some semi-intimate moments together outside of class, it scared me how intensely I was drawn to her. I wanted to know more about her, I needed to know more about her.

After waking up so early, I was surprised that she called me not too long after. We spoke for an hour and a half before she told me she had to get ready for some business meetings. That was another thing that attracted me to her. The fact that she had her own and was so dedicated to her business. It was sexy. I reminded her that I would be there to get her at seven before getting on with my day. I spent the first few hours of my day in the gym, and then I came home to work on a painting I needed to get done for an art museum exhibit. Aside from teaching, I made extra money on the side as a photographer and a painter. I had gotten so engulfed in my painting that I hadn't even realized how quickly time was slipping away from me. I took a thorough shower since I didn't take one when I came home from the gym before going to my closet to pick out an outfit.

I sent Cassidy a quick text to let her know that I was on the way before getting into my Pearl White Range Rover and making the twenty-minute drive to her house. Once I got there, I parked in the garage of her complex before going inside and climbing the stairs to the third floor where she lived. I knocked on the door and a few seconds later she came to the door dressed in simple all-black outfit, looking as beautiful as ever.