Never Alone

Chapter 3

Religion was something I had always found absurd. Questions like, "Why is there so many?", and, "Which is the right one?" filled my head. Being in a catholic family doesn't mean I actually considered myself a catholic. I hardly believed in Jesus so why would I believe in the virgin Mary or Saints? Also by going to events and seeing how they would sell alcohol outside of church was a big no no to me. Christianity? The first thing that would come to my head was the word "hippocrates". People that judge and don't see how imperfect they are. That's what I thought about religion.

Of course later I learned that religion was not bad. It doesn't matter what religion you are from as long as it is only God you worship and praise and have a relationship with. No one will be perfect and you can't judge others, but you can try and help them with love so they won't get lost. We are all brothers and sisters who need to love each other and defend one another because the Devil always wants to attack. We depend on God but as brothers and sisters we are to intervene for one another. We are all part of one body and Jesus is the head. We must be there for each other and love each other.

The only adult to care and guide me was my grandma. However, this situation was different. I needed spiritual guidance. The one who guided me to a church was God. One day my cousin and I decided to try out a church we had found near our house. We went walking because everyone at home refused to take us. My grandma is a sweet lady but when it came to religion she is a bit hard headed. It was okay though I wanted to be with God I wanted to learn I needed help, so walking was not going to be a problem.

I was still depressed but felt comforted while going to church. I learned a lot and I started learning about Jesus. I knew now who he was and what He had done for me. I knew He was real. I was giving my heart and soul to Him.

The Devil was mad though and started attacking me even worse. Now I couldn't even sleep because I would get hit and as soon as I would wake up I could hear the voices laughing at me. They were literally laughing! More than scared I was getting tired of them. The spirits would pull my legs at night. Just because that was happening didn't mean I was going to give up. A lot of people would have but I wasn't. This was war, and I wasn't going to give in.

I could feel Gods presence and I knew the depression I had was leaving. I could feel myself getting better. Everything was different. I never gave in to those demons so they were leaving now. Sometimes they would try and attack but it was different now. I knew what to do and I wasn't scared, and they weren't strong how I used to think they were. They were leaving.

Just like me the enemy didn't give up either. He was trying to use the person I loved the most to be against me. My grandma was very against the fact I was Christian. She had made a big deal out of it. She started rejecting me like if I was dirty. It really broke my heart that the person I felt most cared about was angry for something like this. However, I love God more and I wasn't going to quit for something like that. I did feel discouraged but I wasn't going to stop. So one day, I decided to tell my grandma what was happening with me. The voices the shadows and nightmares I would hear, "Did you never notice how weird I was?" I told her. She told me she had but that she thought I was just a rebel. She was upset that she never noticed. I told her God was the only one to help me and that I felt Gods presence in that place. That I felt I was getting better.

That talk really helped and even my mom started taking me to a psychiatric. Doctor said I was in the middle of bipolar and schizophrenic.

Just because you go to a doctor and take medication it does not mean that everything will go away. Medication only helps to control your attitude and put you asleep. The depression is still felt in your heart. The negative thoughts are still there. You still feel empty. However, God was there to take that away. My life had turned around completely and I saw life differently. I was seeing life differently.

Then one morning at school I was called to the office. My tall friend the Satan believer had gone missing.