crash// (cole sprouse fan fic)

hours 30-35

"Can I see them now?" I whined as Cole tapped away on his trackpad. He was editing the photos: smoothing out lines, cropping things out, and the like. Meanwhile, I was annoying him. As his Sitter, I had done exceptionally well by giving him something to do and inspiring him on his road to recovery. Because of that, I was bored.

"No," he answered in a monotonous and almost robotic voice.

I paused for a few seconds. "Can I see them now?" I tried again.

"No," he replied in the same tone.

"What about—?" I began before Cole cut me off.

"No." I saw his jaw clench slightly to show his frustration but his voice managed to be calm yet maintain its conviction.

Honestly, I appreciated the fact that he was clearly controlling himself and trying not to snap at me. I crossed my arms as a small sigh of defeat escaped me. I shoved my earbuds in my ears and scrolled through my phone to find the right song

"Colleen?" I heard Cole call out over the music.

"Collins," I gently corrected him. I had to blink back some of the hurt. I get that he forgets stuff but I figured he would at least always remember me. After all, he sees me every single day. I guess I was no different than everyone else.

"Right, sorry." Cole apologized sheepishly. It was awkward and he sincerely felt bad. "Can I have more ice and juice?"

"Sure, want me to steal a snack from the cafeteria for you?" I stood up.

"I mean— I'm not saying you should commit a crime because of me..." Cole emphasized with a shrug of his shoulders as he continued to work on the photos.

"Uh huh." I looked him over once and gave him a smile as I left.

I went down to the cafeteria to see the usual prospects there: Evelina, an older woman who has worked at the hospital for decades; Gary, the chef who started opened his own restaurant and then decided to bring better meals to hospital patients; and Matty, Evelina's grandson who always hung around during the summer. He was a few years younger than me and has always had a massive crush on me, going back to when we were kids. Between the three of them, I wouldn't have a problem bringing a treat back for Cole— someone would give me snacks.

"How's your father and brother doing? Have you heard from them at all?" Evelina called out over her shoulder as she looked around the cupboards for more Goldfish crackers.

"Nope," I answered. "They should be back this week though. I think tomorrow or the day after." Their 10-day camping trip was coming to an end. Mom had probably come downstairs to rant to her about how much she hates when Dad goes on those trips and doesn't call her. He wants to be one with nature and ban electronics; she just wants know that he's Ok. I never really worry about them. I've always figured that if they were going to get lost or die in the woods or something, it would've happened by now. I always dreaded their return because they always smelled awful and managed to make the entire house smell within a matter of minutes.

"And how are you doing, Sweetie?" Evelina tried. "It can't be easy being cooped up around here all summer."

"Nah, it's not bad. I like my patient— he's pretty cool so that helps," I remarked casually.

Evelina gave me a mischievous and knowing smirk. "Not like that!" I quickly recovered.

"Ok, Collins," she replied unconvincingly. "Whatever you say."

"Thank you?" I said, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. "I'm going to run these back up to Cole." I said as I turned on my heels.

"Collins?" Evelina called out.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful, ok? I just don't want to see you get hurt," Evelina warned.

"I'll be fine. It's not like that," I reassured her. "But, thanks, Aunt Evie." I felt my lips turn upward into a smile. I had known Evelina for as long as she and my mom worked together— my entire life. She was family and she looked out for me as such.

I thought about what Evelina said on my way back to Cole. She was worried and I get that, but I figured I could at least talk to Cole and make sure things between us were clear and out in the air and open.

The conversation would be easy but it would be good to have it so that there was no confusion about anything.

"Collins!" Cole said as I walked into the room. "I finished some of the photos. Want to see?"

Well, that conversation went out the window.

"Of course!" I went over to the side of his bed so I could get a look at the photos.

Cole's hand hovered over the arrow to browse through the photos as he flipped through all of the edited ones. They were gorgeous. Some were in black and white; others had the look of an old Polaroid. He kept clicking away as I looked at that— taking them in.

Then, it changed.

Instead of flowers, the photos switched to me: the wind blowing my hair as I looked down at my phone; me looking into the distance; a shot of me standing and playing with a flower's petals between my fingers.

I think all expression and life drained from face when he was done showing me. I just looked at Cole. I don't think he was breathing. I wasn't breathing either but it was for a different reason, I think.

I think he knew that.

"Collins," he started, trying to find the words to say. "I— I...,"

Cutting him off, I managed to form a couple sentences. "I can't be your Sitter anymore. I have someone else."

Maybe it was a lie now but it would be the truth in the morning. I could easily swap and was planning in my mind where I could go.

"You're a lot better: you don't get tired as much and it's not like you're at risk of dying in your sleep anymore so I go where someone else needs me," I explained, or rather lied convincingly.

"I need you," Cole strained and looked at me in shock and disbelief.

"I'm sorry," I exhaled, unsure of what to do. "Cole, it's been a week. I'll still be around and I can still drop by."

The walls were caving in on him and me. I was doing whatever I could to breathe. It was sounding like Cole had some deeper feelings for me and it was too much. He was a big deal. When it's time for him to go, he's going to leave and he's forget all about me. If he doesn't, it wouldn't work anyway. Celebrities stay in their world and the non-Beyoncé's stay in ours. We don't get their world and they forget all about ours.

Besides, what about Lilly?