A random book, for random things

I don't know what to call this

So recently I've been losing some motivation to do things, in a lot of categories. Not in that I'm stopping anything but I feel like what I've wrote or drew doesn't look or feel nice. It's taken a toll on my mental health because it's what makes me happy, and it hurts.
To a point where I seriously want to see a counselor but don't have the confidence to. I cried randomly in my room with no trigger and almost did again in math class.

I've been told that my attitude affected the house and family I live in. And the things going on in my head are not pleasent. Pity, death, hate, paranoia, and intentional harm.

I haven't told anyone this and I trust everyone on this site so much. So I guess a very small vent thing.

I've tried cutting myself before it was a absolute horrible day. It was with large sissiors and pliers. I don't plan on doing it again because it really hurt and burned afterwards.

Anyways that's why I'm not exactly "active" right now. I have so many story ideas but I want to try and work on my current one.

Sorry about this ramble, or vent, or whatever it could be called.