My Suicide Story. (Part Of My Life)

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I get that you want me to stay but I have a problem with it and I hope that you won't hate me for it.
I can't handle the pain because it is what for me to this stage writing out this letter:

I am sorry that I can't be who everyone asks me to but everytime someone asks me to change one thing I lose a part of myself that I thought I would be able to keep with me for a while.
I have struggled a while trying to work out what society decides is the correct thing for everyone and I have just lost a battle that people can get through but I am not one of those people.
Society pose a great idea to everyone on how you are meant to look, what you are meant to wear and how you look at yourself and think I am not the way I would look. I am fighting multiple battles within myself and I guess that is where I get to the first problem that no-one knows about.

I put down the letter that I am writing and realise that I haven't completed my daily ritual of maybe eat some food and if I do throw it up again.

Going back to the letter I find myself writing whatever pours out of me:

I try and tell myself that I am pretty but it isn't true and I have finally decided that I lot that battle with myself and I try and try to make myself that perfect weight whatever that is.