My Only Sunshine

Chapter 25 - The Big Fix

"Why am I so emotional? No, it's not a good look, gain some self control. Deep down I know this never works but you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt." - Stay With Me by Sam Smith

"Mr. Teller, your free to go. There's a car waiting to take you home."

Jax looked up from the table, he was examining his wedding band obsessively while he waited, to see a young woman. He hadn't seen her standing in the doorway until she spoke and he wondered how long she'd been there watching fiddle with the ring. The woman smiled politely and extended her arm to hand him a bag containing his phone and gun.

"I don't have a home," he grumbled to himself. "Thanks," he said to her as he moved toward the door.

It was odd that Agent Kincaid wouldn't come to press him one last time but Jax didn't dwell on it. He wanted to leave but not to see his children, he wanted to ride and drink and dull the pain as best he could.

Leaving the room he turned right down the hall and headed back the way he had come in. At the end of the corridor there was an exit to the stairwell as well as two smaller hallways that opened up on the right and left of the stairs.

"Teller," Kincaid called out from behind him. "I have something that may change your mind."

"You don't have shit," Jax said without looking back.

"You sure?"

Jax turned and sighed heavily, debating going back to see what this last offer could be, when he saw the smile on Kincaid's face. He did have something, Jax could see it on his face, so he slowly swaggered back.

"What is it?" Jax asked nonchalantly.

"Come with me," Kincaid lead Jax down toward the opposite end of the hall.

"What is this?" He asked, feeling suddenly apprehensive.

Kincaid opened the door at the end of the hall and gestured for Jax to enter. It was the same room his kids had been in, couches, toys, and a TV among other things made it feel as homey as a federal building could.

When Jax turned to enter the room he saw Amelia standing with her back to him. Of course he didn't know it was her, although his heart sped up and his heart broke all over again simply seeing the flash of red hair.

"What is this?" Amelia asked angrily as she turned to see Jax in the doorway instead of Kincaid as she expected. "Jax," she said in a hushed tone.

He was stunned into silence, his blue eyes wet with tears as he looked at his wife, living and breathing right in front of him. "You're dead."

"I'm not," she said, her voice cracking.

"You're dead," he said again. "I held you, I saw you, yo-you were dead."

"That's what they wanted," she whispered. "It was a big fucking game, Jax. I'm sorry."

Amelia moved closer and threw her arms around his neck, her eyes on Kincaid's over Jax's shoulder. It was manufactured, she knew he wanted to throw her off, and it was working. Her emotions were high and she was overwhelmed, suddenly the idea of not helping take down Zobelle was not an option.

"I love you," Jax said as he began to cry. Burying his face in her hair he breathed deeply, her scent calming him, and held her tightly. "I tried to get there. I tried to get to you."

"I know," Amelia said softly.

"I'm so sorry," he held her tightly."I tried."

"It's alright," she said soothingly. "I'm okay, Jax. It's okay  now."